The Not So Hot List

I love being pregnant, I really do. However, if a fairy godmother appeared in my bedroom and told me I could be unpregnant for 24 hours, then pick up again right where I left off, I'd probably take her up on it, if for nothing else than for the ability to sleep on my stomach for 24 hours in a row. Here's my list of not-so-great things about being 33 weeks pregnant:

1. Gestational Diabetes. I hate it. I'm getting better at it, but I still hate it. I want my OJ back. And I wouldn't mind a piece of cheesecake every now and again.
2. Swollen Feet. It really only happened once, to the extreme, but every once in a while my shoe gets too tight and that's annoying.
3. Hips. For some reason (perhaps the giant belly protruding from my midsection) my hips are always sore! If I sit too long, they hurt. If I stand too long, they hurt. And I wake up about every two hours to roll over onto the hip that's not sore, just to wake up two hours later to roll back over. And that brings me to...
4. No sleep. I cannot find a comfortable position for sleeping. I've tried everything short of buying a ridiculously expensive "pregnancy pillow," which I'm convinced I can recreate with the thousands of pillows I have in my house already. I'll get it right eventually. And if not, it's only seven more weeks. It's not like I'll be sleeping much for the next 18 years anyway, right?
5. Strangers. No one has asked to touch my belly, but while I was looking at a wall of peanut butter in the grocery store, a lady said, "Excuse me!" while she tried to get past me with her cart. There was no one else in the aisle and I was standing six inches away from the Jif. After she passed she said, "I didn't want to hit that belly." WTF??
6. Peanut Butter. I don't love it, but I eat it every day because I don't know what else to eat. I'm starting to hate it. I'm about to switch to hard boiled eggs for breakfast, which I'm sure I'll get sick of in another three weeks.
7. Exercises. These pregnancy exercises, like all exercises, are stupid and I hate them. They do make my hips feel better, but I still think they're stupid and I hate them.
8. Hormones. Now that I think about it, everything is stupid and I hate it.
9. Internet baby websites. Today I read a "Tip of the Day" on a website where a woman wrote in to say, "Whenever I start feeling like I'm bored with my pregnancy, I just lay down for a while and rest my hands on my belly. Soon enough I feel my baby moving and it's all worthwhile." Please, lady. Give it a rest. Bored with your pregnancy? Get a life.
10. Abstaining from alcohol. I'm really starting to miss wine. Really. I miss it a lot. I take sips of Sylvain's drinks every now and then and ooooooh, how I miss it. If we were in France I wouldn't be having this problem. I'm just sayin'.

I suppose I could go on, but those are the things that bother me the most right now. And when I look over the list, none of them are really that bad. I also like to think about how I'm not doing this all by myself, like millions of other women my age might be doing at the moment. I have a husband who cooks dinner every night and rubs my back when my hips start to hurt. I have friends I can call when I'm about to burst into tears for no good reason. I have parents who have been through this before and know exactly what to tell me when I'm freaking out about something. I really have it pretty good, don't I? And in seven more weeks, I'll have a beautiful baby girl to show for it.