Margot's Movie

Before you watch the most adorable movie ever made, let me just say that I heard this song on the radio when I was going through my crazy anxiety-ridden phase of pregnancy. It made me cry for about three days straight, so of course, I had to look it up on iTunes and buy it.  I was extremely disappointed to find out that it came from the Twilight soundtrack, so if you already knew that, pretend you didn't; and if you didn't already know that, then you'll like this movie a lot because you won't already associate this song with that movie.  Enjoy!

The song really spoke to me at the time, because I was so incredibly scared of the unknowns that accompany parenthood.  My head was full of questions wrapped in doubt.  Will she be healthy?  Will Sylvia be happy?  Will I know what to do?  Will Sylvain think I'm good enough?  The two lines about being brave hit me sqaure in the heart and remimded me that being a parent does, indeed, require a large amount of bravery...and an even larger amount of faith. 

"Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you..."

It was like God was speaking directly to me, and my sweet little girl.  And it made me feel so much better!  This video played in my mind for months before she even came along, so I couldn't wait to put it together.  Now that she's here, and she's healthy, and we're all happy, I watch it every day and thank God for such a beautiful baby, and pray for all the bravery I need to make it through the next 18 plus years.  I really don't know how parents do it.  They're the bravest people I know!

Look What We Did - Again!

I'd like you to meet our sweet girl, Margot Louise!  It's 10:00 pm on her birthday, June 21st, and I can't stop replaying her birth in my head, even when I try to close my eyes.  At the moment, she is snoozing away next to me and Sylvain and Sylvia are safe and sound at home, so now is as good a time as any to write about our story.

I knew it would be fast.  Everyone's been saying "Wow!  That was fast!"  But I promise you, every sweet second of it felt like an eternity.  I feel like today was about five days long.  At least.  But it was worth it!  Here's how it went down.

I started feeling some contractions last night before bed, just like the last few nights.  These were a little different, though.  These contractions told me "Hey!  Let's start thinking about getting this kid out, okay?  Why don't you get some sleep and we'll come get you in the middle of the night?"  I obliged, preparing for another 3 am birth.  Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 7 am by myself!  The husband didn't wake me up, because he moved to the couch when I started snoring.  Margot didn't wake me up because those contractions weren't ready to get serious yet.  Sylvia didn't wake me up either, sweet, precious, blessed girl.  I woke up at 7:00 and felt pretty darn great.  Then I got out of bed.  Different story.

I felt a contraction when I stood up, but I could handle it, no big deal.  I still wasn't sure if it was a "real" contraction, so I took a few minutes to straighten my hair and eat some breakfast.  Girl's gotta look good if she's gonna deliver a baby, right?  No sense in wasting a perfectly good morning.  Sylvia woke up at 7:30 and I went into her room to get her up.  I got her out of bed, changed her diaper, gave her breakfast and then BAM!  A contraction hit me like a freight train and said, "HA HA!  YOU'RE HAVING A BABY TODAY, WOMAN!"  I had to stop talking to Sylvia and get down on all fours, which is nothing new at our house because Sylvia watched me do it for the last 20 weeks while I was trying to get this baby up and out of my pelvis.  She ate her butterfly waffle while I breathed and "cow-catted" on the floor like a lunatic. 

I told Sylvain to pack the car and I started timing contractions.  They were about six minutes apart and they hurt like hell, so I called Mom.  She agreed to meet us on the way to the hospital to get Sylvia.  Sylvain called the doctor and they wanted me to come into the office.  I thought that was weird and I wanted to go right to the hospital, but whatever.  I decided I could have a baby just as easily in a doctor's office and it would be their own fault, so we went there first.  We met my Mom to drop off Sylvia, who still wasn't the least bit concerned or curious about all the commotion.  She was just excited that I let her wear her pajama top with a skirt and that she was going to play with Abby and Tyler, so WHO CARES if Mama is moaning and groaning in the front seat?  As we were driving to the doctor's office/hospital (they're the same place, really), I commented that it was so nice to be delivering a baby in the daylight.  This drive to the hospital was every bit as painful, but not nearly as scary as the last one.  Thank goodness.

I walked into the office at 9:45 and had to sit in the waiting room, which was hilarious because first of all, I couldn't sit, and second of all, there was a very pregnant woman there just waiting for her regular appointment, and I'm sure I scared her to death while I stood up, gripping the arms of the chair in front of me.  Finally, they put me in a room, my favorite doctor arrived, gave me an exam and declared that I was, in fact, in labor.  Duh.  Thanks, buddy.  I was 6 cm, fully effaced, zero station.  "Go to the hospital, we'll tell them you're coming," he said. 

The nurses showed us to our room and started asking all kinds of questions.  I changed into my nightgown and started pacing, but they immediately wanted to hook me up to the fetal monitors, so I had to get into the $#@**$#@#ing bed!  Here's where things get fuzzy for me, so I'll just list the parts I remember.  Maybe in two years, Sylvain will write his side of the story and it'll make more sense.

Sylvain left to get stuff out of the car.  Our doula, Anais, arrived.  Mom arrived.  I went through about four billion contractions before Sylvain came back and I thought I was going to die.

Sylvain rubbed my back, Anais talked to me and rubbed my arms, Mom watched and took pictures, but she kind of freaked out when I started screaming during contractions.

I screamed a lot.

They finally let me get up and move around, so we lifted the back of the bed upright and I knelt against it, which felt better.  Sort of.  They still hurt and I still screamed.

I cried during most contractions, and at one point I declared that this was a stupid idea and I changed my mind and GIVE ME AN EPIDURAL RIGHT NOW! No one listened to me, except my mom, who was the only person in the room who wanted the epidural as much as I did.

People kept telling me I was doing a great job and I wanted to punch all of them because what do they know?!  Except Sylvain and my mom, because they were the only ones who weren't talking to me, so I didn't get mad at them.  I thought it was strange that I didn't want anyone to talk to me, because last time that was all I wanted.  I also kept screaming and I also kept declaring that I was done, I didn't want to do it anymore, and please can I have some drugs?

My water broke.  People got excited.

At one point I looked at the clock.  It was 11:00 am.  I thought "I can do this until noon.  Then I'm quitting."

During a contraction I decided it was time to push.  Pusing seemed like a wonderful idea, but I didn't want to MOVE from my spot.  There was a lot of rushing around, and we had been waiting for a doctor who still wasn't there, and I heard one of the nurses say to another nurse that they might have to deliver the baby together.  I didn't care one bit, because I was pushing whether they wanted me to or not.

The doctor arrived.  He made me get down and turn around, so I wanted to punch him.  He examined me and gave me permission to push.  Thanks.  He stood back and watched me push from about ten feet away with his arms crossed against his chest as if to say, "You said you wanted to go natural?  Here.  I'll just stay completely out of it and we'll see how far you get."  I wanted to yell "Is anyone going to catch my baby?!!" but I was too busy screaming at the top of my lungs and pulling on a big, long, blanket that our doula gave us.

I pushed twice.  I screamed bloody murder but it felt very productive.  Sylvain's face lit up after the second one and he said, "Her head's out!"  I was very confused.

A lady got up in my face and said, "I'm Michelle.  I'm a midwife and I'm taking over while the doctor goes to deliver another baby.  You're doing a great job!"  She then coached me through the next two contractions to get the rest of the baby out.  Her voice was soothing and she was very authoritative without being pushy or mean.  I trusted her.  I immediately fell in love with her and decided to name my baby after her.  She had a nice face.

Michelle The Greatest Lady Who Ever Lived told me to put my hand on the baby's head and push against my hand. 

Margot (not Michelle, but almost) was born at 11:16 am and was put onto my chest.  When she slipped out, I felt a rush of relief and when I laid eyes on her I felt completely at peace.  She's here.  She's perfect and she's here and I'm done.  I don't have to do this anymore.  Praise God!  I looked at her in complete amazement.  She was just on the inside and is now on the outside.  A baby.  A whole baby. 

Here is where I gain back my sanity.  I held Margot while the nurses rubbed her and the midwife attended to me.  Sylvain and I stared at each other and Mom started chatting with the nurses and asked them why no one listened to me when I asked for an epidural.  The nurse said, "Well, they all say that when they're getting really close."  I assured Mom that it was okay, I didn't really want the epidural (I did) and there wasn't time to get one anyway. 

After a while, the nurses took Margot and weighed her.  6 pounds, 15 ounces!  Almost a whole pound smaller than Sylvia!  I was shocked because I thought she'd be much bigger.  Thank God she wasn't.

I suddenly remembered that I have another child who might want to meet her new sister.  Mom left to pick up Sylvia from my aunt's house.  The nurses left us alone for a couple of hours to settle down and get to know our baby girl.  Anais stayed with us for a few minutes to help us get settled.  Sylvain started making phone calls and sending texts and posting announcements.  All in all, we just sort of sat around and marvelled at the fact that we just had a baby.  Eventually, the nurses took us down to our recovery room, where we've had a few visitors and now Margot and I are resting peacefully.  Phew!   

So today, on the first day of summer, our sweet girl arrived and we couldn't have been more pleased.  I'm so glad I got a good night's rest last night.  I'm so glad Sylvain knew how to rub my back.  I'm so glad I didn't get that epidural.  I'm so glad she has all ten fingers and toes.  I've really never felt this blessed and lucky before.  Stay tuned for more posts on Sylvia's sweet introduction to her sister and Margot's insane talent for breastfeeding!  I love my sweet girls.  I'm one lucky Mama!

A Special Birth Story

Since I've been collecting birth stories, I thought it would be neat to include a dad's perspective of birth.  I asked Sylvain to write down Sylvia's birth story, and he agreed on the condition that it would be written to her, not just for her.  I thought it was a great idea, as long as I could still post it on the blog.  So here's what he's been working on for a very, very long time!  The original copy is in French, of course, and that will be given to Sylvia when she's old enough to read it herself.  Since this is a translation, it might sound a little strange, but I think the sweetness translates quite well!  Enjoy.

That which follows is about the events that are related to your birth.  Certain thoughts run the risk of shocking you or making you cry, but I will try to relay them to you as truthfully as possible.  Honestly, the idea of hearing, or at least reading, a birth story seems rather strange to me, but I heard my own from your paternal grandmother more than once.  Why write it?  That, you'll have to ask your mother.

For almost nine months, I knew that one day you would be born, but it seemed theoretical to me, despite the fact that I had seen images of you, heard your heartbeat, and saw your mother grow.  I had been told that, generally speaking, for the fathers, the reality of having a child comes the day of the birth.  I am no exception, since I didn't feel your kicks or nausea or even a new perspective of my body like your mother did.  Alas, it was not a day, but a night.

For weeks, we followed classes to prepare us to welcome you in a natural way.  Despite all of our efforts, nothing went as planned.  We were expecting something predictable, but you completely took us by surprise. 

There we were, in the middle of watching The Colbert Report, with a stopwatch trying to determine when we should head to the hospital.  It was pitiful.  After a phone call to an expert, we decided to hit the road.  I knew where to go, but perhaps you know that driving at night (roughly 1 AM) in the middle of a storm where the street lights reduce visibility due to their reflection on the roads in the middle of a work zone where the lines are almost invisible...well, these things didn't make driving easy, considering your mother only wished to get there as soon as possible. 

Once at the hospital, the main entrance was closed, seeing as it was after hours.  Under the rain, we walked toward the E.R. entrance, stopping here and there since your mother had strong contractions.  Once inside, we quickly realized that you were going to be born from one moment to the next. 

The nurses and the midwife prepared everything: the birthing bed and gadgets that go "beep."  Bit by bit, you became more and more real.  The midwife announced that everything was going alright.  For what seemed to be an eternity to us, you were born relatively quickly. 

Towards the end of the labor, I knew that from one second to the next I was going to see you.  Between fatigue, lively emotions, and the anticipation, I saw the midwife raise you toward us.  How small and fragile you were!  From this point on, everything became hazy. 

Just before the official time of announcement from the midwife (3:19 AM), there was a rhythm: contractions, rest, contractions, etc.  On the other side, after your birth, so many things happened whether it be totally surprising or bloody, that it almost traumatized me.  I was numb.  I will spare you the details in case you one day want to have kids, but I have to tell you that when they asked me to cut your umbilical cord, I asked myself, "Why not?" because I was already so much out of my element.  While I'm at it, it's crazy that science has become so exact in relation to birth.  It could have been mistaken for a play in the middle of it's thousand and first rehearsal.  And that was relieving. 

Once the midwife determined that you were doing fine, the three of us ended up in a small room and it was in this room that I learned that I love you.  I was holding you in my arms.  You, wrapped up like a fragile package.  Me, reduced to a machine only capable of feeling just one emotion: that of love.  Some people might say that it's instinct.  Some people might say that it's universal.  Despite all of these possibilities, it was then that you became my daughter.

 
This sweet story was a big deal for Sylvain to put into words, as I'm sure it is for most dads.  I am honored to share it on Sylvia's second birthday!  I'm so glad he agreed to write it because he shared many details I never knew before.  I love the part about how the rhythm changed once she was born, and of course I love the part about our time in the recovery room with our little girl.  Now that we're getting closer to the birth of our next sweet girl, this story is a wonderful reminder of why I picked him, and why he picked me, and why we wanted to start a family together in the first place. 

Clara's Birth Story

Here's the story of Meredith's second sweet girl and her arrival in May of 2010.  I get teary eyed at the part where she kisses Annabelle in the middle of the night before heading to the hospital - that's a moment I'm not looking forward to, myself!  I share Meredith's worries about our other "baby" and how she'll handle the birth of our second, but I remember talking to Meredith after Clara was born and learning that Annabelle was adjusting very well.  Her story gives me hope that all will be well at our house in June!  I also LOVE the way Meredith writes about the misconceptions of the perfect natural birth which can often scare new mothers into believing they'll never bond with their babies.  When she says her girls are well-adjusted and brilliant, she's being modest.  Her girls are the greatest!  Enjoy her second story.

Throughout this pregnancy, my biggest worry was my older daughter and what she would think when I abandoned her for a few days then brought home a new baby. It totally consumed me and I could cry just imagining what having a baby sister was going to do to her. Well, I hate to ruin the ending here, but she was fine. A OK. There was never a single problem with her being sad or crying -- the first time she saw her baby sister, she gave her hugs and kisses and loved her so much!

Okay - so on Mother's Day, I was 37 weeks pregnant and I was ready for the baby. I went to bed that night feeling incredibly restless, and I just had a feeling that it was the night. I even got up and paced around the house for an hour around 11 pm, and when I came back to bed, I brought a bath towel and laid it down under me. The minute I laid down, I felt a "pop" and a trickle. My water had broken! I woke up my husband and he immediately called in to work (yes, at midnight - that's the military for you) and then his mom, who immediately bought a plane ticket to arrive in DC at 7:30 the next morning! I texted my dear neighbor who was in charge of watching my older daughter and let her know that she wouldn't be getting much sleep in her own bed that night! I hopped in the shower, then came downstairs and ate a pbj sandwich. I was definitely having painful contractions. I started trying all the tricks I had read about, and deep low moaning seemed to help the most. Between each contraction, I'd run around making sure everything was set for my other older "baby" and finally got my neighbor to come over. By this point, I was a little out of it - zoned out - and I was using language that is unsuitable for repetition. haha.

I crept upstairs to kiss my daughter in her sleep, knowing that her life was getting ready to be changed forever. She would never again be the sole focus of my attention, from here out, she would be sharing her parents. My heart was aching as I closed her door behind me, hoping that she wouldn't be too confused when she woke up the next morning. (She ended up having a blast and my neighbor, of course, did what any mama would do for her mama friends and spoiled that girl rotten until Grandma got in later that morning).

It was a 30 minute ride to the hospital, but we made it in 20. Car contractions were NO FUN! By the time I was checked in and the nurse checked me at the hospital, I was convinced that I must be on the brink of delivery. Nope. 2 cm. I was ready to settle in for a long morning, but when the nurse took my blood pressure, that all came to a halt. It was HIGH. High enough that even my husband, who wanted me to have a VBAC just as much as I wanted to have one, said, "No way - showtime." When you're giving birth after having a c-section, you don't get a lot of leniency that you might get if you haven't had a c-section. Long story very, very short, my little darling arrived by C-section a little after 6 in the morning. How can I ever forget that shaky little cry? I was definitely less drugged during the procedure than I had been during my previous delivery, but immediately afterwards I begged to be knocked out (being awake during surgery caused me to have panic attacks both times). When I woke up, I was given my baby who was just perfect and tiny. Now that I am a few years out from the experience, I often consider if I have it in me to do it all again, and I'm still not sure how I feel about that, but I definitely wouldn't mind feeling that wave of joy from holding your baby for the first time!

Just as a side note: I have watched "The Business of Being Born" several times. I've read almost every book on the market about pregnancy and birth. While having a c-section was very hard on my body (I still don't feel like I have healed completely), I want to make it clear that it does NOT interfere with your ability to bond with your baby. I still had the moment of euphoria and the "high" that everyone shares in the natural childbirth books - it was just a little delayed! I was also able to exclusively nurse both of my babies until they started cereal at 5 months and they are both healthy, well-adjusted, brilliant kiddos. I think a lot of times in our quest to advocate for natural, drug-free birth (which I still think is the best way to birth), we can scare mothers who aren't able to have that experience. There's a misconception that you won't bond with your baby the "right" way. I humbly disagree. Thanks, Rachael, for the opportunity to tell our story!

I think Clara is about six weeks old in this picture, but it's one of the sweetest Mama/Baby pics I've ever seen!  They are both so beautifully happy, aren't they?  Thanks for sharing, Meredith!

Annabelle's Birth Story

I will never, ever forget, for as long as I live, the early morning call from Meredith to tell me her sweet Annabelle had arrived...four weeks early!  Meredith and I began our teaching careers together and became very close in our classrooms across the hall from each other.  She was the first close friend of mine to have a baby, so naturally, I watched her like a hawk during her pregnancy and asked her four hundred gazillion questions, because at that point in my life, I was NOT planning to get pregnant for quite some time, if at all.  Pregnancy was such a mystery to me, but Meredith seemed to glide through it like she'd done it a thousand times.  I was in awe of her (and still am).  The night before Annabelle was born, I sat at my computer for hours making my first baby song CD for Meredith, Justin and Annabelle.  So it was quite a surprise to find out she was born that night!  I was convinced it was because I spent so much time thinking about her.  So, you're welcome, Annabelle.  Glad I could help.

Here's Meredith's story of Annabelle's birth:

At 36 weeks, I was tired, tired, tired. I'd had one of my two baby showers and was going to have the other in a week, but for some reason, I woke up on that Saturday morning with a burning urgency to get everything ready for the baby NOW. I went shopping for a breast pump and got the car seat installed by a "professional". My husband thought I was nuts, but I came home around lunchtime feeling accomplished and ready for a nap. That night after a dinner of leftover Italian sausage rigatoni with tomato white wine cream sauce (yup - I remember the meal), we watched the UK - Florida game and man, oh man, it was one of those games. That was the year that UK struggled and Florida was #1 in the country and we lost at the very last minute. Around 10, I went to bed while my husband studied for a huge pathology exam that was coming up that Monday. As I drifted off to sleep, I started to dream that I had wet the bed. Suddenly, I woke up to discover that I HAD wet the bed - actually, my water had broken! My husband was coming to bed and I said, "Honey - either my water just broke or I wet the bed!" I was actually scared to death because I was only 36 weeks - everyone says that you're supposed to go late with your first baby and I knew that I was exactly 36 weeks - no miscalculations.

I hadn't really gotten around to talking to my doctor about what to do when I was in labor, how to know I was in labor, etc, etc. I called the on call number and the dr told me to come in right away if my water had indeed broken. I wasn't in any pain, so I took one last long shower, ate an apple, double checked my bag...then off we went, to the hospital! I will never forget that feeling on the drive to the hospital, knowing that it was the last time we would be just the two of us!

So we got to the hospital and checked in only to find out that I was only dilated one tiny centimeter. Boo! Although I remember every single detail, I am going to fast forward quite a bit...after getting pitocin through an IV, I dilated to 10 cm, but after over an hour of pushing, it became clear that the baby was stuck. She wouldn't budge and I couldn't move (I had an epidural - after 5 hours of pitocin contractions, I was begging for it), and then to top it off, my blood pressure started to sky rocket and the baby's heart rate was slowing. The doctor told me that I was going to have to have a Cesarean. At first I cried and begged and pleaded, "NO!" After all, I hadn't read any of the books' chapters on C-sections! It wasn't even an option to me. After some more pushing, though, it wasn't up to me - we had to get the baby out. I was prepped for c-section (definitely leaving out all of those details!) and I will always remember the moment in recovery when I was "with it" and got to hold my little baby for the first time (right before she got carted off to the NICU for a few hours). It was such a fun feeling to finally meet the little sweetie who had been kicking me and become my best little buddy...she still is! Sometimes, it still blows my mind that not only did I make and grow a baby, but I am responsible for teaching her so much. It's a pretty awesome responsibility, being a mommy!

...and Meredith is the best.  Here's sweet Annabelle, 5 years old and every bit as beautiful as her mother, but looking just like her daddy.

Stay tuned for another birth story from Meredith - sweet little Clara was born in May of 2010 and she is a DOLL!

Amelia's Birth Story

Hooray for a repeat!  Here's my old friend, Katie, who was sweet enough to send me Annie's birth story two years ago.  Her second daughter, Amelia, was born a couple of months after Sylvia, and now she's expecting baby girl #3!  Katie's a labor and delivery nurse, so I always love to read her perspective on childbirth.  If you want to keep up with Katie and her girls, you can check out her blog here. 

As I lay here in bed (on my belly!) with my oh so beautifully dark complected baby snoozing beside me in the bassinet I will recall the story that started out, amusingly enough, with my last post.

I guess any girl can be fooled into thinking that she has 4 more weeks of being pregnant when she feels like she can conquer the world... look out! Gods little blessing of adrenaline preparing you for when you don't get any sleep for the next 24 hours ;o)

I remember when I was a young girl my friends mom having a baby (her 5th delivery at home). I went to their house with my mom just minuets after delivery to find that she had yet to deliver the placenta. I remember standing in her bedroom and the mid-wife showing my friend and I the "tree of life" in the placental blood vessels. I remember her mother commenting to my mom that she knew it was the day because she had so much energy and felt so good... I guess these are the things that you know when its your 5th baby :o) I suppose you also don't care about the neighborhood kids being in your bedroom either :o)

You see what I forgot to mention in Wednesdays post was that I was having a contraction with every positional change. I just wrote it off to being 36 weeks and having friends like Katie N who contract regularly for 3 weeks before they deliver! It may also have something to do with the fact that I worked triage a few days before and sent multiple women home who were all complaining of pre-labor symptoms and I wanted to tell them to scoot over and we would just sit in the triage bed and share sob stories. Then I would tell them that they needed to stop wasting their time and money, go home, and don't come back until you are actually in labor!

Wednesday night was a nice evening and I schemingly suggested we take a walk to the park which is only maybe 1/4 mile away so I wasn't going for anything labor inducing. Just aiding curiosity mostly.
After bathing Annie and putting her to bed I was still noticing the occasional tightening of the abdomen but no pain at all and nothing more than 3 an hour.

I was still wired! In a time that I usually fall asleep during a tv show or movie at 8:30 its now 11:00 and I am reading a book in bed while my husband works on the laptop. Lights out followed shortly after and the next thing I know it is 1:00am and although I must have been in and out of sleep, I am simply not comfortable, not able to sleep and restless but not contracting that I know of.

By 2:30 I decided that I was too uncomfortable to sleep and tossing and turning is just unkind to the man sleeping beside me who has to work the next day. So I get up and go downstairs to find that I am contracting every 3 minuets and wait... they hurt! How was I sleeping through this?  By 3:00 I have yet to take my eyes off the stopwatch because I felt I needed justification for what I was feeling... I know I'm weird, whatever :o)

These contractions that I now couldn't really sit still through were every 2-3 min apart and I decided to call work just to find out what doc was on and whether my friend Allie was working because she is on call to do my delivery (L&D perks) I told the charge nurse that I might see her later and hung up.

I woke Joe to tell him that I was contracting and was going to get in the bath to see if they go away. He is proud of himself for asking me if my water had broken because that was how it went down with Annie :o)  The bath did nothing so I decided to make myself delivery beautiful :o) Who needs all those pictures of yourself looking like you rolled out of bed when you had a perfectly good 3 minutes between contractions to apply a little eye liner :o)

Around 4 I finally decided to call the OB hoping that she would sympathize with me and confirm that I should come in and get checked out. My call woke her up and she didn't even know who I was which I have to admit ticked me off! She told me that it was normal to have 6-7 contractions an hour at 36 weeks and its a good thing they are not painful that I should drink a lot of water. She said that if I feel I must come to triage that it was on the 9th floor of Good Samaritan hospital in Clifton! Ahhhhh I was so mad! This is one of the docs that I dont care for in my group because she doesn't slow down enough to listen to you! Who said they weren't Painful?? How about 6-7 in 10 minutes??? Crazy Doctor!  I decided at that point I had justified a call to my nurse friend Allie so that she could sympathize with me and tell me to go to triage... however she didn't answer. :o(

By 5 I was mentally exhausted from over thinking this and needed Joe to talk out loud to. I went to wake him up and realized that I couldn't be quiet through them anymore either. He quickly jumped up and we were packed and ready to go about 30 min later.  Leaving Annie at the house with Good Old Aunt Kelly we headed to the hospital in the beautiful early morning sunrise.  My contractions still were the same and I was very wiggly through them. Joe exceeded the speed limit however we did not get pulled over this time :o)  In triage my colleagues hooked me up to the monitor and their eyes widened when they found that I was contracting like crazy and was already 6-7 cm with a "bulging bag"!!

I was SHOCKED! I couldn't believe that it was time! I was happy that I was so far along and surprised at how it still didn't hurt like I thought it should.  I was SO glad that I stayed home as long as I did. I knew they wouldn't keep me or break my water at 36 weeks if I wasn't far along.  I marched myself to my labor room remembering the awful feeling of having to sit in a wheelchair through contractions with Annie. After getting my IV started I decided to wait a while for the epidural which I hated the process of getting and also the feeling of being numb the last time.

Allie arrived and after chatting with her and a few other of my friends for a while I hand picked my anesthetist and summed up the courage for the epi process. Dont get me wrong, I wanted the epi more than I wanted the labor pain, I just really really wasn't looking forward to the creepy feeling it gives me! The process went MUCH better than last time and mid way through I got really excited about the rest of my labor process being pain free and happy fun time could begin!

My epi was perfect, I could feel my legs and some strong contractions, I could move my legs and even my body all by myself without the pain! Now THAT is what an epi should be!  The Doctor that took over at 8am is one of my very favorite people in the world. Picture an Oriental Jayne Barnett as your doc and there you have her!  She checked me and wanted to break my water however her head was still not engaged in my pelvis, to which I was not surprised because I knew I had not felt it down there yet!

So she left me to progress a little farther and I hung out in the room with Mom, Kara, Joe, Gerri, and Kelly even brought Annie up to visit for a while. Although she was not impressed by us all sitting in a room staring at me in bed and she took her to take a nap at Aunt Char's house. After Dr Choi attempted do a circumcision on post partum and getting called to another delivery she came back 2 hours later to break my water. I was 8 cm and when she left I started feeling my contractions very strongly and I could feel her dropping into my pelvis! We immediately called her back into the room and 10 min later Amelia had arrived!

I only pushed 3 times and it hurt! I admitted to Joe that if I were to ever go natural I would be a yeller because it was really hard to be quiet!  She was tiny and pink and I felt all the emotions that I was weirded out that I didnt feel last time. I was crying and excited and in love!

She had to spend some time under the warmer to keep her temperature up and she was grunting and retracting which is typical of 36week babies however a big red flag for lung problems so the NICU came to assess her. After spending some time doing "kangaroo care" she quieted down and everything was good!

She weighed 5lb 6oz and was 18.5 inches long. She has my dimple in her left cheek (her face cheek that is :o) We think she looks like Annie trough the eyes and nose however the dark hair throws everything off!

We wanted to go home after 24 hours however the pediatrician wanted to keep her for 48 hours just because of being early. She also detected a heart murmur and diagnosed her with a VSD. We are going to follow up with a cardiologist tomorrow so I will update you all more on what that is after that. Basically though its a hole in her ventricle that they are guessing is very small and typically either closes up in the first few years or just stays so small it never causes any problems.

Sweet Amelia was checked out by the doctors for a VSD and it was determined to be a very small hole which was likely to close up on its own.  Judging by the adorable pictures I've seen in the last two years, I assume all is well!  Thanks for sharing, Katie.  Your family just keeps getting sweeter!

Ellie's Birth Story

Yippee!  Our first birth story comes from my dear friend Laura - my soulmate in song!  We met in the UK acapella group, Paws and Listen, and we haven't stopped singing show tunes and oldies hits since.  I'm pretty sure we accidentally wrote ten episodes of Glee together.  Her sweet girl, Ellie, was born almost a year ago on April 25th, quite a few days after her due date.  I love Laura's description of her birth, especially the part where she yells at the nurse.  I laughed so hard I snorted!  Here's her story, but to read more about sweet Ellie and see some awesome monthly pics, visit Laura's blog, Camp Crawford.


I woke up around 4am the morning of Monday, April 25th to go to the bathroom. Definitely not something out of the norm, I had been doing that since about month six of pregnancy. I felt slightly odd though and as I stepped out of the bathroom back into our room, I said Pete's name - he woke up and in that instant my water broke all over the floor! Finally!! We were really excited, and glad that it had happened at home and in the middle of the night. We went back to bed and tried to sleep for a few more hours before starting what would be the most exciting day of our lives.


I had maybe two contractions in two hours that lasted about 30 seconds each. I wasn't really sure if they were even contractions, they were just a discomfort that seemed worth noting. We decided to get up around 7:45am. Pete took care of the dogs and I took a shower and finished packing our bag for the hospital. The morning went by pretty fast - we ate breakfast, read the paper, etc. We had learned in our birthing class that early labor can last a long time and it was best to go about your day if you are trying to wait to go to the hospital. Our goal was to stay at home until my contractions were 1 minute long, and 5 minutes apart. I don't remember when the contractions started to get more regular - Pete was in charge of timing them, my only job was to try to stay comfortable. The only one I specifically remember was when I stood up from the dining room table and I told Pete, "I think I'm having a con----" and then I was on the floor. I physically could not stand up and thought, yep, this one is definitely a contraction.

We left for the hospital after lunch, when my contractions were between 45 seconds and 1 minute long, and they were 5 to 6 minutes apart. Luckily we live pretty close to the hospital so I only had to endure two contractions in the car. My labor was 100% in my back, so sitting in a car unable to move was pretty rough. We had preregistered at the hospital so we thought all we had to do was give our name when we got there and they'd be ready for us. What we did not do, however, was CALL MY DOCTOR to tell her I was in labor!!! Whoops! In all the excitement it completely did not occur to us. So it took a few minutes to give all my info at the registration desk before we got admitted to labor and delivery. Luckily, the lady at the desk was very nice and Pete answered most of the questions when I had to whimper into my pillow. That was around 1:15-1:30pm.

Our labor and delivery room seemed pretty typical - right away I was upset to be in a hospital room instead of my own house - I just didn't feel very comfortable (linoleum, bright lights, etc). I kind of lose track of time around here - but suffice to say I was in some serious pain and was questioning my ability to do this whole 'natural birth' thing. They wouldn't let me use the jacuzzi tub because my water had broken so long ago, and they didn't have a stool or chair for me to sit on in the shower (I couldn't really stand up without leaning against something at this point). They did find a labor ball but it was too small for me to use and by the time they found it I couldn't sit on anything without being in excruciating pain. I also couldn't lay down. I was most comfortable standing bent over at at the waist with my arms and torso resting on something - or on Pete, who held my arms as I walked/hobbled around the room.

According to our plan, Pete asked me to wait 15 to 30 minutes every time I inquired about medicine. I never did want an epidural (the being numb from the waist down thing scares me) but thought I might get an i.v. of Stadol just to let me rest for a bit. When we arrived at the hospital I was dilated to 4cm, and by 3:30pm I was only at 5cm. I asked the nurse on average how long it takes to progress to 10cm and she said approx. 1cm per hour. That was when I told Pete that I didn't think I had 4 more hours of natural labor in me. He reminded me that the doctor would be back in 30 minutes to check me and if I was only at a 6, we could discuss medication.

Sometime during this I started to feel as if I might have to 'bear down'. I told Pete that he might want to think about calling the nurse because I felt a little pressure. By the time the next contraction rolled around about a minute later, I yelled at Pete, "Call the nurse! I have to push NOW!!!" So he got my nurse and she came in the room to check me and I had gone from 5cm dilated to 9cm dilated in about 45 minutes!! Whoo-hoo!! I wasn't going to get drugs!! I knew something good was going on because suddenly there were 3 or 4 nurses in my room and they were opening packages and getting things out, moving stuff around, and people were murmuring about the location of my doctor - apparently she was with another woman in labor and they were having to find her, and later they were paging her. Shortly after this my nurses, and a doctor who came in who wasn't my doctor but was going to have to do in a pinch, were telling me I had to get on the bed and lie down on my back. I knew I was in the transition phase - the pushing phase- and that it could last up to 2 hours. I started pleading with them, telling them they didn't understand, I couldn't lie down, it hurt my back. I told them I was told I would have other options and that I couldn't be on my back for two hours. That was when my nurse said something like, "Honey, it's not going to be 2 hours, you can see your baby in 2 pushes." Pete and I were like, "WHAT?!?!?" And she said, "I can see her hair, you can reach down and touch her head if you like."

So I got on the bed and they started fiddling with stuff getting the bed ready, and then my doctor came in and made the other doctor leave and it was time for me to push. Pete was on my left side holding my hand and my nurse Trish was on my right side holding my hand. Apparently I kept closing my eyes because Trish would say my name really loud so I would open them. And they would tell me to push push push push!! And then I guess I closed my eyes again because Trish said, "Laura! I need you to look at me!" She was right up in my face at this point. And I yelled - really screamed at her - "I can't!!" "why?" "YOU SMELL LIKE SMOKE!!!!" Ha! How funny is that?!?!? Right after I said it I apologized profusely but Pete says everyone in the room kinda laughed and that the lady having the baby gets a pass for whatever she says at that particular moment in her life. So after 2 contractions - felt like 5 pushes to me - 5 super-painful-I-screamed-like-you-wouldn't-believe pushes - Ellie arrived!! It was 5:09pm - we'd only been at the hospital for 3 1/2 hours! I was really glad to be able to feel everything because I knew exactly where to focus my energy and as soon as she was born, all the pain was gone!

They put her on my tummy right away and clamped the cord, and Pete cut it. After a few minutes they took her to dry her off and weigh/measure her, then they gave her back to me! We stayed in the L&D room until 8:30pm or so, and then they moved us up to our recovery room. They didn't take her for her bath/tests until 9:30pm and they brought her back at 11:00pm. After that she was with us the rest of our stay. We were discharged Wednesday morning after a day and a half in the hospital. Our transition home was pretty easy thanks to family we had in town, especially Audrey who had prepared food for us, and Aunt Susie who stayed with us Wednesday through Saturday and bought our groceries, did laundry, and made sure we ate.

So that's it! I managed to deliver a baby!! Pete thinks I'm a rock star, I just think I'm lucky I progressed so quickly - channeling Grandma Prann all day must have done me some good :)

What a great story!  I know Grandma Prann and I might channel her myself with this next baby.  Well done, Laura and Ellie!  We're so glad that baby girl is here.  

An Awesome Birth Story

We had the pleasure of spending the weekend with some friends who recently had babies!  It was one baby's first birthday party, and the other sweet baby was nine months old.  They are both super sweet baby girls and it was wonderful to spend time with them, their mothers, and our friends.  I really needed that time to unwind and chit chat and enjoy the wonderful weather.  It was so nice.

I have tons of pictures of Sylvia doing the cutest things that I should post (including our first trip to church today!), but instead I'll just post a link to this amazing birth story.  It reminded me that there are a million different ways to bring a child into this world, and no matter which way you do it, they all end just about the same way - a beautiful baby, a new mama, a sweet little life taking over a home, nothing but joy and love all around!  It's not a long story, so take a few minutes and read it.  You'll be amazed, and if you're anything like me, a little teary.

Look What We Did!

Today was the day, and what a day it has been!  I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude, love and amazement that it will be hard to put it into words just yet.  However, I wanted to blog about our birth story while it was still fresh, so here are the nitty gritty details.

Our plan was to have a natural birth, but I didn't want to go around proclaiming that to the world beforehand because I tend to cry when I stub my toe and I wanted to have complete freedom to say "Okay, I can't do this!  Bring on the epidural, please!" without feeling like a failure.  Turns out there was no time for any of that "I can't do it" nonsense.

We were lying down for bed when I asked Sylvain to rub my back.  Then I had to go to the bathroom about ten times and after each time I needed my back rubbed again.  Finally, around 11:30, we decided there was something to this and we should probably start timing what must be contractions.  They were very sporadic, some were eight minutes apart, some were five, some were three.  Some were 70 seconds long, some were 45, some were 30.  We had absolutely NO IDEA WHAT WE WERE DOING!  So finally, around 1:00 AM we called the hospital.  When we told them how far along I already was, they said we could come in any time we wanted to and I wanted it to be soon!  I was so worried about getting to the hospital too early, but considering I had no idea how to get through those contractions without freaking out, I really wanted to be around some nurses and other professionals.  "But didn't you take childbirth classes?" you ask.  Why, yes we did, and we forgot EVERYTHING.  It came down to me saying "Let's go to the hospital - NOW!" so that's what we did.

The ten minute car ride in the pouring down rain was excrutiating.  I could not make myself relax, I could not get comfortable during contractions, and even thought I knew it was dangerous, I was pleading with Sylvain to drive as fast as he possibly could.  We arrived around 1:30, they took us up to our labor and delivery room and we discovered that I was fully dilated!  We arrived just in the nick of time - yes!  I got the urge to push a little after 2:00 and the midwife and nurses had the room all ready to go.  We collapsed the bed so that it looked like a chair and they hooked up the squat bar.  I sat on the edge of the bed between contractions and when I felt like pushing I just leaned forward, grabbed the squat bar and gave it all I had!  We did that for a while, then changed to the half lying down/half squatting position and that worked really, really well.  So well that she was born at 3:19 AM!  I helped pull her out and put her on my chest, they cleaned her up and we spent two hours together just staring at each other, trying to get her to eat (which she did) and trying to pick our jaws up off the floor while we figured out what in the heck just happened.  She was wide awake, trying to pick up her head, looking right into our eyes and it was beautiful.

Sylvain was amazing.  From the car ride, to the registration desk, to standing by my side while I labored and pushed, he was cool, calm and collected.  There were times where I was freaking out, where I thought "Stop this right now, I can't do it!" and he would say, "Rach, you ARE doing it, just keep going."  The nurses and midwife, Allison were also amazing.  Mom made it down in time to see the last few pushes, and the whole room was full of cheerleaders telling me how well I was doing and that was the biggest motivator of all time. 

And I won't lie to you, people, it HURT.  I have never in all of my life imagined that kind of pain...but at the same time, it didn't hurt.  It was a hurt with a purpose, it was the weirdest, most amazingly empowering feeling in the universe.  When it was all over, I just laid there and thought, "Wow, I could conquer the world right now."  I felt so GOOD.  They gave me a shot, they numbed "the area" and they gave me a Motrin.  I was on top of the world and still am!  After a couple hours they took us down to our recovery room and Sylvain got some sleep.  I laid down and closed my eyes, but certainly didn't sleep a wink.

The little girl is eating (or trying to, at least), she's pooped, she's all wrapped up and sleeping like...um...a baby!  She is the most precious little wonder and I can't stop staring at her.  Sylvain has already changed her diaper, swaddled her and rocked her to sleep.  I feel like we were meant to do this!  I know we'll run into all kinds of problems when we get home, but for today, we're all okay.

And we did it.  With the help of God, nature and our family.  And I'd do it again, too.  It was amazing.

Rachael's Birth Story

I met Rachael for the first time many years ago, when she was dating her husband Carl, who lived with us in the dorms at UK. She came around quite often and none of us were surprised when they got married after he graduated. Her birth story is pretty amazing, and I'm so glad I get to post it today - her two year "Cancerversary!" I was especially touched by how supportive her family was during this rough time for her, and how positive she was able to stay during what must have been some agonizing months. As I get ready to post this story, I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed at the blessings this project has brought to me. I know that when I'm in the delivery room, no matter what happens, I'll be able to draw upon the strength and knowledge of all of these amazing women. Rachael, you are an inspiration! Thanks for sharing your story.

At 28 weeks pregnant, I felt very blessed. I was pregnant with a sweet baby boy named Evan and I felt great. Pregnancy had been easy. I had no morning sickness, no stretch marks, was not moody, and was still sleeping well each night. Life was pretty much perfect.

While at one of my regular visit with my obstetrician, I decided to ask about a lump I felt in my breast. I was pretty certain that it was pregnancy related, but thought I would have her check it, just in case. My doctor examined me and knew right away that it was not pregnancy related. She was not too worried, though. She explained that it was probably a cyst. Just to be sure, she scheduled an appointment for me to have an ultrasound of my breast a few days later. Since she was not very worried, I was not either. I was certain that I would go have the ultrasound, be told that everything was fine, and be sent on my merry way.

The next week, on December 7th, Carl accompanied me to the diagnostic center for my ultrasound. (It was the first of several appointments for the day and I was ready to get it over with and move on to the fun appointments, like my ultrasound of Evan.) I was called back shortly after we arrived. I was taken to a small, dark room while an ultrasound technician performed my ultrasound. She finished her work and said she would be back shortly.

When the technician entered the room a few minutes later, she asked me how far along I was in my pregnancy. I thought it was an odd question, but answered that I was 29 weeks along and she left the room again. As I sat alone in the room, I started to worry. I sensed that something was not right. When the technician returned again, she explained that the doctor wanted to speak with me about the results of the ultrasound. At this point I really started to get scared. She left the room again and returned shortly with a doctor. The doctor introduced herself and said that she was really worried about what she saw on the ultrasound pictures. She said that although we would need further tests, she was certain that I had breast cancer.

My head immediately began swirling with questions. Was I going to die? If so, how long did I have? What would happen to Evan? How would this affect him? How would Carl raise Evan without me? As I continued to process the awful news, I started to cry. I asked for the technician to go get Carl. I knew I needed him right away.

Carl came in the room and he held me tight. The doctor explained the results of the ultrasound to Carl. The rest of the appointment becomes blurry to me at this point. I vaguely remember more ultrasounds, mammograms, and a biopsy.

Once we left the diagnostic center, we visited my obstetrician, who is partners with Carl’s dad. Together we all talked about the next steps. We would get the biopsy results on Monday, December 10th. Since the biopsy was certain to confirm a cancer diagnosis, Carl’s dad and my doctor arranged for me to meet with a surgeon on Monday afternoon.

Early on Monday morning, my doctor called with the results of the biopsy. I had breast cancer. That afternoon I met with my surgeon to discuss what we needed to do next. Of course, I was very worried about Evan. Thankfully, Carl’s dad had done a lot of research over the weekend and was able to help us and my surgeon make a decision about surgery that would take out my cancer and that would be safe for Evan. I would undergo a lumpectomy that Thursday, December 13th.

When Thursday arrived, I felt that I was in very good hands. Not only was I confident that my surgeon would be able to remove the cancer, but I knew that Evan I and were in good hands. My obstetrician would be in surgery to help monitor me, and Evan had a nurse that would monitor him.

After the surgery I woke up and asked how Evan was doing. I was told that he was fine and that he was still being monitored. As I laid in recovery, Carl came and told me that the cancer had been removed and that only a couple of cells were found in my sentinel lymph nodes. The rest of the lymph nodes were removed and would be biopsied, but it was not likely that the cancer had spread. What a relief!

The next few weeks were tough. Recovering from surgery was hard, especially since I was pregnant. I was in a lot of pain and to top it all off, I developed morning sickness. The holidays helped keep us in good spirits though, as well as a lot of support from family and close friends.

After Christmas, Carl and I met with my oncologist, who had been working with my obstetrician. She explained that I would need six chemotherapy treatments in the coming months. Afterward, I would need radiation treatment. It was important to start chemotherapy soon, but it was safer to wait until I had delivered Evan. Evan would need to be delivered as soon as it was safe to do so.

Carl and I spoke with my obstetrician again and got advice from Carl’s dad. Evan would be delivered at 36 weeks gestation by c-section. We were told that I would be given steroid shots to help Evan’s lung development and that by 36 weeks, he would likely be fine. Once Evan was born, I would begin chemotherapy almost immediately to make sure that my cancer was completely gone.

We spent the next few weeks getting everything ready for Evan’s arrival. I was well enough to help and I was very excited to get everything prepared for Evan. I couldn’t wait to meet my son!
On January 25th, Carl and I arrived at the hospital for my c-section. I was so excited! I couldn’t wait to hold Evan and to see what he looked like. To be truthful, I was not worried about the c-section. I had been through so much in the past weeks that I felt I could get through ANYTHING at that point.

After being at the hospital for a couple of hours, it was time for my c-section. I was prepped and soon I was lying on the surgery table. Carl joined me and the surgery began. It didn’t take too long before we were told that Evan was about to make his debut. We knew he was there when we heard a tiny cry. We were both overcome with such joy that we began crying too. Evan was held up for us to see. Carl and I were ecstatic to see our son. He was perfect.

Carl joined the doctors and nurses that took care of Evan on the other side of the room. He would bring the camera to me and show me pictures of Evan and tell me how he was doing. Before long, Carl was allowed to hold Evan. He brought him over to me and I was able to kiss him and snuggle with him for a few minutes. Evan was then taken away to be monitored in the nursery.

After my c-section was over, I was moved to the recovery room. I felt pretty good and was anxious to get to my hospital room and see Evan. One of the neonatologists came in and explained to me and Carl that Evan was having trouble breathing and was going to need to go to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (N. I. C. U.). We had been told this was a small possibility, but I was devastated. I felt horrible, knowing that he was born early so that I could begin cancer treatment and that now he was suffering due to his early delivery date.

After a couple of hours, I was wheeled to see Evan in the N. I. C. U. I was not allowed to hold him, but I was allowed to place my hand on him. As I watched him struggle to breathe, I felt so sorry for him. I wished I could scoop him up and magically make him all better. I felt helpless.

Over the next few days I recovered easily from my c-section. I took pain medication, but I was up walking on my own the same night I had the surgery. I spent lots of time with visitors. Sadly, Evan was still in the N. I. C. U. I could take one person back at a time to see him, but no one could hold him. Still, it was still nice to show off our little boy.

Before I left the hospital, I was allowed to hold Evan. I was thrilled! He was covered with wires and tubes and was extremely swollen, but I thought he was perfect. While I was happy to hear that I was being discharged, I was sad to leave Evan at the hospital. Everyone knows that you are supposed to leave the hospital with your baby, but we would not get a chance to do that until over a week after I was discharged.

The day we got the call to pick up Evan was one of the best days of my life. Carl and I went directly to the hospital where we eagerly gathered Evan. We were so excited to bring our little boy home!

Here's the happy family. Doesn't Mom look beautiful? And even though he's wearing a mask, you can just feel the joy in Daddy's eyes!

Poor little guy, all hooked up and helpless. Oh, this picture breaks my heart! He's the cutest thing I ever did see!

And this one's my favorite! He's practically perfect in every way, and even with no hair that girl still looks beautiful! Look at that smile...what a trooper! Rachael, you are amazing! Congratulations on your beautiful family and Happy Cancerversary!

Laura's Birth Story

Laura Roessler Rousseau is another friend from long ago. I found her on Facebook a few months ago, and was led to her blog, A Little Miracle. I was shocked to find out that she was expecting her second child and that baby Claire had Spina Bifida. There were all sorts of complications related to her birth, the least of which being that the family had to relocate from Canada all the way to Cincinnati (where Laura is originally from and where her family still lives) just because the doctors at Children's Hopsital are the greatest in the land! Since her story is on her blog, I'll copy my favorite parts, but before I do, I want everyone to know that I think Laura is one of the most inspirational women I know. Her fortitude, strength, and FAITH are astounding! Just read a few entries of her blog and you'll see for yourself!
***
[Katie] took Paul and I back to the prepping room and started everything. As we were walking back, I couldn’t help but think how weird it was that in a couple of hours my baby would be out of my stomach, without any work on my part. The whole “Scheduled birth” is such a foreign concept! Ha, Katie had someone else put the IVs in because she didn’t want me to hate her after all of these years! The prepping time took about an hour. Katie kept me calm by telling me funny family stories. While we were sitting there, I started having contractions, and I could feel them in my back. I still wonder if the amnio was what caused them. They eventually wheeled me into the operating room.
***
The whole atmosphere of the surgery room just seemed so peaceful and prayerful. It seemed almost that God hand picked each person who was present for the birth. Everything was as perfect as it could be.
***
Once they were ready to pull her out, they lowered the curtain so I could see her little body emerge from my belly. The cord was around her neck, and her head, I thought, looked a little blue, but a couple seconds later she cried. I knew then that she was fine. We were all surprised when we saw that her lesion was completely covered in skin! YAY! She even scored a 9 on her APGAR test! Fr. Nick, the hospital’s chaplain, was there for the birth, and baptized our baby soon after she was born...The nurses took pictures and video taped the whole thing, and even prayed along with us when she was baptized. At the end of the baptism, there was a loud “Amen”. It was awesome!
***
After about an hour Katie wheeled me down to the NICU to see and hold Claire before she was transferred over to Children’s hospital. She was beautiful, but it was so sad to see her little arm poked with an IV. I couldn’t help but think about how cozy and safe she was inside of me, only to be pulled out and poked as soon as she entered the world. At the same time, I was Ok with everything that was happening. When thinking about this moment in the weeks prior, I pictured myself crying when they took her away. I don’t know if it was all of the prayers that everyone had been offering, or if the mental preparation helped at all, but I was totally calm and at peace. It was just something that had to be done, and I was ok with it.

Claire is doing much better than expected and you can read up on her status on Laura's blog. The sweet little girl is scheduled to have surgery TODAY at 9:15, so I thought this would be a good day to post my own little tribute/prayer for a safe and successful surgery. Now take a look at the cutest pictures you ever did see!

Oh, she is just SO SWEET!

And here she is with sister Eva and Daddy! This one gives me goosebumps. Precious!

Elizabeth's Birth Story

Elizabeth was my first roommate in college. Had it not been for her, I would not have survived those first few cruicial months of being away from home! Her birth story is very different, and it's the first one I'm allowed to post here that is NOT on another blog, so it's wonderfully long and detailed! She and her husband lived in Italy at the time of Jonathan's birth. European labor and delivery is a bit different than American hospital births. The most amazing part of her story - she birthed naturally! Somehow she managed to get through labor without an epidural, even though she did have an induction - VERY hard to do! Enjoy her story:

Getting pregnant was the easy part...I knew right away because my boobs hurt so bad. So, I took a pregnancy test 4 days early and could barely make out a blue plus. I waited 3 days and took the test again and the blue line was clearly visible. At first I thought, "Yea! I'm pregnant!" Then when reality set in I thought, "What the hell have we done?"

I knew my due date should be October 7...and was verified by our first ultrasound at 7.5 weeks. As luck would have it my friend Terra was due 8 days before me. It was wonderful having someone to share all the ups and downs of pregnancy with. It seemed easier knowing she was going through the same things I was. However, when she started getting a cute little belly around 3 and a half months and I was still flat as a pancake I wasn't too pleased. When we would go shopping everyone would start asking her about the baby etc....I would get nothing. No belly appeared until I was 5.5 months pregnant and still wearing my regular clothes. I learned to love my low-rise curvy Gap jeans, the stretch was just right for baby all the way through the 8th month.

38 weeks was the most depressing of the entire pregnancy. I started applying butter balm, lotion, baby oil, cocoa butter and pure olive oil to my tummy throughout my pregnancy with complete dedication in hopes of not getting stretchmarks. Then the dreaded night came...in my dimly lit room as I was getting ready for bed I caught a glimpse of my belly in the mirror, and there it was! So far I had been dealing quite well with the popping and cracking pelvis, waddling, enormous breasts, and a strange fixation for toast and chocolate pudding. From that moment I couldn't wait to get that baby out of me.

39 weeks had come and gone - dilated 1 cm effaced 25%. Nothing changed at 40 weeks and Dr. F told me I needed to come in for a stress test to make sure the baby was doing ok. Of course I started to worry, this was not part of my birthplan...I read horrible things in the Bradley book about the stress tests and how they would try to convince the parents induction was the only way to go and I wasn't sure I could make it through an induction. Stress Test Day came. Baby was fine, but we scheduled the induction for Tuesday October 16th (1 week later)....This gave me time! I was sure the baby would come by then.

October 13th - I went to the bathroom and this horrendously icky things came out of me. I screamed for my mother and she told me what it was - the mucus plug....ewwww! So, still only having braxton hicks contractions, we all decided to make the trek to church (which was 75 miles away in Vicenza, but in the same place as the hospital.) After praying for the baby to hurry up and get here before Tuesday I again had to pee, and wouldn't you know, more of the plug decided to come! Oh, the wonderful things your body will do. I told my mom, and Dustin made the decision to get a hotel room because I didn't want to drive all the way home only to have to drive all the way back to deliver the baby and have the slight chance of getting stuck on the AutoStrada in Labor and deliver a baby in BFE Italy!

October 15 - So far I had had no contractions. Nothing worked to make this baby come...walking, light jogging, jumping, squatting, sex, nipple stimulation...nothing. I was tired but too nervous to sleep. Finally I made myself lay down at 1am.

October 16 - 5am, I woke up every hour on the hour hoping I would feel a pinch or a pull maybe even a slight tug. I got up and took my last shower and even shaved my legs. God forbid I have hairy legs during delivery! Knowing that this was my last day of being pregnant I decided to indulge in donut holes and a coffee for breakfast! A great start to the day!

6am - walked into the birthing center and was told I was not allowed to eat, and if I had wanted to eat I should have done it prior to walking through the door. "SHIT" Just my luck...I still ate a couple donut holes though.

7am. IV was started. Blood was drawn. All the wonderful questions were answered. I told the nurse I really wanted to have natural childbirth but was not totally opposed to IV Pain Meds. But, an epidural was entirely out of the question and I did not want to be pressured into one. I told her I didn't want it to be suggested to me either.

7:30 I was at a whopping 2 cm and 75% effaced! Dr. Frost put a pill in my cervix (Cytotec) and I put on Harry Potter & the Scorcer's Stone and relaxed. It wasn't anything new, felt like my tummy was getting hard; no pain whatsoever. Mom was asleep in the rocker and Dustin was trying to not look nervous. Throughout the morning I was left alone to relax and watch the movie, no pain at all.

By 10:30 things had started to heat up. My contractions were getting stronger and I was doing a great job of just relaxing through them. I think by then we had put Chamber of Secrets on...I was starting to tune things out.

10:50 Dr. F breaks my water with a device that looks like a giant-sized crochet hook. This was the most disgusting feeling ever. Warm gushing nastyness. Then a contraction. Holy Shit. I got scared and started to cry. I had so much self doubt at that moment. How was I going to do this? How could I handle this for an extended period of time? Then the Dr. saw me in tears and told the nurse to wait a few minutes to start the Pitocin. Mom and Dustin started to rub my legs and feet with oil and I started to relax and concentrate.

11:10 - a very short 20 minutes later Pitocin was started. The contractions were strong, there was no warning, they just hit me full force and kept the intensity for the entire contraction. Distraction was a good thing. Mom decided to get Dustin lunch and Dustin was doing a great job. I was so glad I made him practice the Bradley Book...it was worth it.

11:30- I was sick of just laying in bed so we got the birthing ball out. Keep in mind that with every contraction amniotic fluid was still gushing out of me...not my best moments. The ball worked great, I rolled my hips around and leaned on the bed while getting back rubs. I felt like this was bearable. I had gotten in the mind frame of labor. Contraction to Contraction. Breath to Breath.

12:30 - 4 cm 80% effaced - Labor was working at a very slow rate. The pain was getting worse, I had to do something different. Nurse suggested the shower! Oh, the warm water was wonderful. For the next hour and a half I swayed, sat, kneeled and relaxed in the shower. For some reason the water eased the pain in my belly. Both Dustin and the nurse ended up soaking wet but it was worth it. Then at 2:00 my contractions intensified. I wasn't sure I could stand up much longer. I felt like I was getting weaker and weaker with each one. Drying off and walking back to the bed were the hardest 10 minutes of my life it felt like.

2pm -I was 5 cm. Dustin had spoken to Dr. F and had been told and "estimated" time of delivery. He asked me if I wanted to know, I said,"No, please don't tell me. It will make me doubt myself and I want to do this without drugs." Once in bed the nurse told me laboring on all fours was a good position and allowed the baby to get off my back. I was willing to do anything to make it feel better. The next contraction was like a slap in the face. My body was screaming in agony, then I got hit with a piggy back contraction. 2 full force contractions back to back with no break. I could no longer kneel, and I got into the Bradley Position. Dustin was rubbing my back. Mom was rubbing my legs. The nurse was doing hip squeezes and knee presses. I started to moan with each contraction. I couldn't help it. I was trying desperately to relax. Instead of a slap in the face I felt as if my body were being steam rolled. (Looking back, this was my transition into the last stage of labor).

3:15 - The room has been kept dark, everyone is quiet except for me. The steam rolling wave has continually hit my body. Nothing is helping. I'm not sure if I can go on this way. I ask the nurse about the effects on any medicine she could give me and would it really do anything for me. Would it hurt the baby? My mom (which also read the Bradley Book and Lamaze Book) asked me to wait just a little longer. She said," You're doing great Lizzy. You can do this."

3:50 - I tell the nurse "I need to push." I did it. My entire body convulsed, I curled into a ball on my left side. Pushing made the pain go away! It was relief. The nurse checked me. I was ready. She said,"Page Dr. F"

3:55 - Dr. comes through the door and asks if he has time to change. "NO" I kept pushing. By the time the Dr. put on his gown Jonathan was crowning. I had only pushed a few times. Then I screamed in pain,"he's hurting me!" Mom said,"I can see his head." Dustin took one look and almost passed out. Dustin would spend the next 5 min. with his head buried in my pillow while holding my hand.

4:04 - Jonathan is born. 8 pounds 4 ounces 21.5 inches long

And here they are - one, big happy family! Doesn't she look GREAT?! That little peanut of a man in her arms looks so content and happy, doesn't he?

Elizabeth is currently studying to be an OB nurse.

Thank you so much for sharing your story!

Madonna's Birth Story - 2 Years Ago Today!

I met Madonna last year when I started teaching at my new school. She taught third grade down at the other end of the hallway, and we quickly became friends. She was very good at helping me get through all the "new teacher" wonkies, as I came close to tears while she was in my room more than once. She was a supportive and caring listener, which means, of course, she's an amazing mother! She, like Katie, is also an avid blogger, so I won't copy her whole story here, just my favorite parts. You can read her entry over at Just Us Three. Enjoy!

At 6:00 p.m. we called the hospital to see if they had room for us, they told us to come in at 7:00 p.m. or so. But before we went, Kevin made my favorite dinner--Stuffed Steak Ole. Um! I didn't eat much, but I knew I would not get to have it again anytime soon because of all the peppers and onions. (Hmm, thanks for this tip - I'll certainly enjoy a good meal before I go anywhere near the hospital!)

We got to our room around 7:30 p.m. Our nurse Tracy checked me and found that I was 1 to 2 cm dilated and that my cervix was 90% effaced. Actual progress, shocking! So they held off of giving me anything to encourage more contractions. Around 4:00 a.m., after a long night of restlessness (contractions aren't fun), a doctor came to do the epidural. Can I just give you one piece of advice, get the epidural! After that, the only way I could tell I was having a contraction was from the pressure.

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Kevin was the first to hold him. Ethan did some crying when they were checking him out and cleaning him up, but once they wrapped him up and handed him to Kevin he was completely quiet. Kevin said he did a lot of looking around, mostly looking right at his daddy. Once the doctor was done with me I got to hold our son in my arms for the first time. He seemed so content.

***

Kevin and I are just so excited to meet this little guy we've been talking to for months in my belly. It's still pretty surreal. It really hasn't sunk in that this newborn is our son. We're just anxious to get him home and begin our new lives as parents.

Ethan was born on December 3rd, 2007 - so HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE BUDDY!

I think this picture is just the sweetest! I know he's sleeping, but I want to scrunch his little face and make high-pitched googley noises!

Thanks, Madonna! Enjoy your time at home with your little one. We miss you!

Katie's Birth Story

Well, the first birth story I received was from a dear long-lost friend - Katie Glenn! Who now goes by "Kate Zuerner;" because she's so sophisticated and grown up and married to Joe Zuerner. But to me, she's just Katie Glenn - my brother's "girlfriend" when they were four years old. She's one of, I think a BILLION kids, and her mom, Pam, is the sweetest thing on the planet, therefore Katie and her BILLION brothers and sisters are also the sweetest thinglets on the planet. Okay, so she really has three sisters and a brother, but still, as a pregnant woman, I feel like her mother might as well have had a billion kids, because that's a lot of work! Anyway, Katie is a labor and delivery nurse, so she gets to see birth stories every day! Somehow, she still finds it interesting enough to share her own amazing story with me, and with the rest of the Internet world. Here is a link to her post about the birth of her beautiful daughter, Annie. You can read it for yourself, but I've copied my favorite parts to include on my own bloggy blog, so here you go!

4:30 [am] Pulled over by B. Police for speeding on the Avenue!! :o) Joe was a little upset however I simply told him not to worry he would not get a ticket. When we told the police man I was in labor he offered a squad to which I laughed and told him that I was an L&D nurse and I had everything under control just let me leave!!!! He wanted to know what hospital we were headed to and when we told him he said that his wife worked at ... in the ER and if we were lying he would know!!!! First of all sir, why would we lie about going 35 in a 25 at 4:30 am? And if your wife knows I am at the hospital and tells you about it I will sue her for violating HIPAA!



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6:00 [am] In my room getting the terrible, horrible, worst thing in the entire world...Epidural!!! I would hate them except they make life so much easier. I would not EVER go natural because something tells me that if I didn't like the 5 min Epi process that I wouldn't do well with the 8 hour labor process. However, I freaked out during my Epi. I cried like a baby, I hated the feeling of it! However, it took away the pain...so whatever.


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11:00 [am] 10 cm 100% effaced and time to start pushing. Now being a L&D nurse I know how this first time pushing can go, I have done it with many of my patients, anywhere from 10 min to 3 hours long, most often at least an hour. I was very nervous about this, I had no idea how I was going to push for 3 hours!! However with my first push my moms face lit up and Joe mentioned something about seeing the head! I couldn't believe how blessed I was, this was not going to take long at all!


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I can't believe how blessed I am to have had such an easy labor and so far on day 4 things are going fairly well. When things are hard (breastfeeding) I just have to look at my little girl and I am so in love with her that it is all worth it.

Here's the pic of adorable Annie that I ripped off of her blog, isn't she precious?!

Thanks, Katie, for such a great story! Your positive attitude and confidence are certainly inspiring to a first-timer like me!

Calling All Moms! I Want Your Stories!

Like all good ideas, this one hit me in the middle of the night. Sylvain and I have started our child birth classes and I've been reading lots of books about labor, delivery and recovery. Last night I was thinking about all the Moms I know, and how it would be nice to sit down with all of you and hear your birth stories. Since I don't have that much room in my house or time to go visit all of you, I've decided to put out the "all call" on the internet for your stories instead!

So here's the deal:
- Email me your stories at pocket879 at hotmail dot com OR if you have your stories in a blog post, just send me the link.
- If you have more than one kid, you can send me more than one story OR you can combine them, I don't mind.
- Let me know somewhere in your email if I have permission to post your story on my blog. My number one goal is to learn as much as I can about your experiences, my number two goal is to share what I learn with the online world. So, if you don't want me to publish your story, don't let it stop you from sending it! I still want to read it!! If you do want your story published, leave out any identifying factors like locations, hospital names, and names of doctors and nurses.

Don't hold back, ladies! I want the WHOLE story - the good, the bad, and the ugly!

If you don't know where to start with your story, here are some questions to consider:
1. When and how did you know you were in labor?
2. What was your husband/partner/coach's reaction? What role did this person play in the process of labor and delivery?
3. How long were you in labor? When did you decide to go to the hospital? When did your doctor get there?
4. Did you have any medication or interventions during labor and delivery? This list includes, but is not limited to: pitocin, epidural, episiotomy, forceps, vaccuum. What were the effects of these medications or interventions on you and on the baby, if any?
5. Who was with you in the delivery room? What was their reaction?
6. Were there any surprises for you on that day? Did anything happen that you felt unprepared for?
7. Describe the moment when you first saw your little one - Did the baby cry? Did you cry? Were the baby's eyes open? Did you get to hold the baby right away?
8. If you nursed your baby, how did that go?
9. How long did you stay in the hospital and how long was your recovery?

I'm really excited about this little project. I'm particularly interested in hearing the stories of the Neltner women on my mom's side of the family, since I appear to take after my mom as far as this pregnancy is concerned. I'm also interested in getting a good sampling of stories from mothers of all ages, young and old! If you're not a mother, pass this idea on to one that you know - most of us know at least ONE mom, right? If nothing else, these stories should be written down for prosperity's sake!

Have fun and happy story telling!