Nicknames

Sometimes my brain likes to do this sorting activity all by itself, and lately it's been sorting nicknames. I'm hoping that by barfing it all up here on my blog, I might be able to make some room for the more important things that need to fit in my head, like perhaps...the National Board Portfolio I'm trying to put together, or maybe something related to the new creature that will be arriving at our house in a matter of weeks. Let's hope it works. Here you go:

Religious Nicknames: Angel, Miracle, etc. Not my personal favorite category, but I know lots of Moms who call their baby girls "My little Angel," so it really deserves its own category.

Food Nicknames: Sugar, Honey, Sweetie Pie, Muffin, Nugget, Noodle, Cupcake. My favorite AND least favorite. I love to call my fourth graders Sweetie Pie, and sometimes Muffin Head when I'm feeling sassy. But as I typed the list, I also noticed that this could be called the Annoying Waitress Category. Whenever a waitress calls me Sugar, Sylvain knows to hold me back because I might just punch her in the face.

Plant Nicknames: Sweet Pea, Butter Bean, Buttercup (that's a flower, right? or does this one belong in food?)

Cowboy Nicknames: Buckaroo, Buddy, Pal, Partner. Cute for boys, I'm a big fan of Buddy.

Animal Nicknames: Teddy Bear, Birdie, Grasshopper (maybe that's just what my Mom called me, but Grasshopper sounds like a very martial artsy kind of nickname, doesn't it?)

Size Nicknames: Big John, Tiny Tim, Little Girl. I find myself constantly referring to the baby as "The Little Girl." Not sure how I feel about it.

Let-Me-Mess-Up-Your-Real-Name Nicknames: another one of my favorite categories and one that I use often. I like to take parts of people's names and mangle them. I turned Laura into LaLu, Mrs. Lop___ into LoLo, and Mrs. ____igo into GoGo (they both teach fifth grade across the hall, and I love calling them LoLo and GoGo, I think it's cute). For boys, I like to add "ums" to the end of their name, as in Pete-ums and Greg-ums. Works best for one syllable names that end in consonants - Sylvain-ums does NOT work.

Completely Made Up, Inanimate Object Nicknames: I used to be called Pocket in high school, Sylvain's college friends call him Chud, and I recently stumbled upon a blog in which a child was constantly referred to as Cloudy. Lots of blogging Moms are using these kinds of nicknames lately.

Negative Body Image Nicknames: Bean Pole, Surfboard, I know more than one guy who was called Pudge.

Sport Nicknames: Slugger, Flash, etc. Again, not my favorite.

Royalty Nicknames: Princess, Little Prince. Meh.

Wrestling Nicknames: I made this category up for Mom and Jay. They like to call my cousin (Tyler) T-bo and they tried to call my nephew (Charlie) Char-Char for the longest time, and probably still do when no one else is around. They're trying to use the name-mangling technique, but are doing so ineffectively! I don't know what else to call these kinds of nicknames, I just know they remind me of Pro Wrestlers, which are gross.

Last Name Nicknames: Popular among high school boys, especially those that play sports. My brothers always went by their last names in high school and I thought it was weird. Ironically, this category is also popular among educators. So much so, in fact, that I don't know if any adult at my school actually knows my first name, because they all call me by my last name - even though Rachael is so much easier to pronounce!

The -y Ending Nicknames: Jordy, Bobby, Robby, Johnny, etc. Works well for some names, but definitely not for others.

The Jennifer Lopez Nicknames: Every once in a while, you find someone with a last name that starts with the consonant-o pattern and is therefore ripe for the "J-Lo" reference. Example: I have a friend named Debbie who is now and forever D-Ro.

That's the end of my list for now, and I hope I can sleep tonight without thinking about categories of nicknames or anything else! And for those of you that are wondering, I call my husband Honey or Chud Muffin and he calls me Bee Barf, because that's what Honey really is.