Her First Love

Well, I knew it wouldn't take long for any daughter of mine to fall in love.  Sylvia has a mad crush on Mr. Quack.  Her face lights up the minute she sees him and oh buddy, when you pull on his string and make his tummy vibrate...well, it's a total party.  We keep him strapped to her play mat or to her carrier when we're on the road.  This morning I was hustling around the house grabbing burp cloths and pacifiers and shoving them into the diaper bag, when I turned around to catch the two of them practically making out.  Lucky for me, I had my trusty camera at the ready!  Just call me Mama Paparazzi!

You can tell she's waving her arms, but also - that blanket is totally airborne from the kicking!  Just scandalous, outrageous shrieks of joy coming out of this child.

And look at the love in her eyes!  Mr. Quack, if you ever hurt her I'll yank that pull string right out of your...you  know. 

I guess we should go buy some more of these because no other toy in this house is nearly as beloved.  Every time she lays eyes on him it's love at first sight - and it probably is love at first sight again and again because I don't think she's old enough to remember him from one day to the next.  I don't know what she sees in him, but whatever she's looking for in a toy - he's got it!

A Busy Summer Day!

That's right, folks.  You're looking at the one and only Jordan Humbert, hard at work!  Sylvia and I went to visit him at his *new* office downtown today.  For those of you that know him (and those of you that don't), he is now part owner of Two Cap Studios, a stellar graphic design and software company!  We are soooo proud of him, and we're really stoked that his office is right around the corner from downtown's most happening street, great for weekday lunches and summertime visits from his favorite neice!  Jordan now designs websites and applications for businesses in our area, or any area, for that matter, so if you or anyone you know are in need of a fresh, hip and user-friendly website, he's your go-to guy.  I have to say, I think he's a creative genius, and that's my professional (not biased big sister) opinion!  

I love his office.  When he showed me the sketch for this bookshelf, I was skeptical, but once he created and installed it, I was convinced of his brilliance.  Isn't it totally cool?  I think we need one for our house, but he's a little busy running a new business and I'm not chopping down any trees myself!

So, after sleeping through her visit with Uncle Jordan, Sylvia came home and decided it was time for an afternoon dip...

Maybe you can't tell from this picture, but she's totally smiling!  We found this adorable hippo baby pool for super cheap, and since she had so much fun on Memorial Day at Aunt Dar's house, we decided she needed her own pool for the backyard.  We both slapped on our bathing suits, slathered ourselves in sunscreen, and hit the water for a lovely ten minutes.

Then we laid out (in the shade) and chatted for a while to dry off...

 This girl loves to be outside and she looooves to be in water.  Bath time at our house is all giggles and kicks.  I think we'll get lots of use out of that little pool, even if I do have to hold her in it all summer because she can't sit up yet.  And I know she'll have a blast at Norris Lake this year and at the annual Humbert camp out this fall.  I can't wait!

Two Months

Dear Sylvia,

Today you are exactly two months old and all I can say is....

you're alseep.

Halleluiah, praise the Lord, you are ASLEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!

Daddy and I have been working very hard to put you to bed every night this month and it appears that we may have finally figured out what you need.  Unfortunately, what you need is very difficult for me, because you've made it clear that you need to be left alone to cry.  Oh my god, I have to let you CRY and it kills me.  Here's your usual bedtime routine: bath, pajamas, book, prayers, lullaby.  Somewhere in there you get your last meal of the day, usually between pajamas and reading a book.  Sometimes you fall asleep long before we finish the bedtime routine, but for the last couple weeks, you have started to cry when we lay you down in bed.  This usually leads to Daddy and I taking turns going into your room, sitting next to your bed and shushing you or giving you a pacifier, or patting you, or singing to you, or pleading with you by shouting, "Dear God, child, just go to SLEEP!" and then storming out of your room, instructing the other one that it's their turn.  You are one tough nighttime cookie.

So, last night, after lots of help and advice from other parents with babies, we decided to let you "cry it out."  We went through the routine, then I laid you down in bed and you started your usual shreiking.  I had to walk away from you, which was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.  It was harder than giving birth to you.  It was harder than Sister Anita Marie's calculus class in high school.  It was harder than driving through Taos, New Mexico in a stick shift in the pouring down rain.  It was HARD and I cried when I left your room.  I went outside to sit with Daddy and some friends, and after about a half hour, we all went inside to discover that you were asleep.  What a relief!

This morning I rushed into your room as soon as I heard you cry.  I fed you, unswaddled you and brought into bed with me and Daddy so we could all snuggle together as a family.  I want you to know that no matter how hard you cry at night, no matter how lonely you might get in the big crib in that dark room, Daddy and I will ALWAYS be there in the morning to pick you up and shower you with hugs and kisses.  Tonight, we tried the same thing again.  We went through our routine and I laid you down in bed.  You cried, I cried, but before I could even get to the back door to sit outside with Daddy...you stopped.  You were alseep.  It was so quick and so easy for you.  I was so proud of you and I suddenly realized that this is what you've needed all along.  You just need us to LEAVE YOU THE HECK ALONE!  If you could talk last week, I bet you would have said, "Stop picking me up and bouncing me, Mommy!  Enough with the shushing and the singing and the touching!  I'm almost asleep, just leave me alone!"  You're so independent like that.  What a good girl.

Other than going to sleep like a crazy person, your second month has been filled with adorable smiles and stunning glances.  Sometimes you turn your head and smile at me sideways which just melts my heart all to pieces.  You love to be outside and you love to watch the sunshine music player on your play mat.  But the toy you are totally into right now?  Your vibrating yellow duckie.  Daddy and I call him Mr. Quack Cocaine because we have never seen anyone so addicted to an object.  I don't know what it is about that duck, but when you see him, your face lights up like you just won a million dollars and you know exactly what you're going to do with it. (Buy your parents a boat?  Think about it.)

You've made lots of new friends this month; mostly strangers in public who come up to us and say something like, "Excuse me, but I just have to tell you, that has got to be the cutest baby I've ever seen!"  And I'm all, "Way to go, buddy, you're giving my kid such an ego!"  But it's okay because it's true.  You are the cutest baby on the planet and we might as well be going out to dinner with a celebrity - a big one.  You also get lots of visitors around here, especially Uncle Jordan, who has agreed to be your Godfather.  This means he has to buy you lots of presents and show up for every birthday party, which is kind of a big deal.  I hope you don't have any birthday parties on the same nights as his shows, because he's going to have to choose and I'd hate for him to fail miserably as a Godfather or a musician.  Tough call, little one.  We'll see how it goes; we have plenty of backup Godfathers just in case, but I think he'll work out just fine.

Nugget, we love you.  You light up our life and bring such joy into this family, even when you're being a turd at bedtime.  Now that we're starting to figure things out, I hope you continue to fall asleep well so you can go on being the happiest, most darling baby in the world. 

Love,
Mama

You down with PPD?

In the middle of all this happy fun baby time, I decided to write a bit of a downer post, just to warn you.  I need to write it for two reasons - first of all, not nearly enough people talk about the dark side of having a baby, and second of all, sometimes I need to write to make myself feel better.  Given these two reasons, it would be best for me to write about post partum and then post it on the ol' blogeroo.

I'm not depressed in the dictionary sense of the word, but after reading all I can about post partum depression I've learned that it doesn't always mean you're down and out after having a baby.  I haven't reached the point where I don't want to take care of myself or my child, and I'm not losing a whole lot of sleep over it, but still, it's there.  Mine has not taken the form of sadness, but rather anxiety.

At first I thought I was just being my usual, worrisome self.  I come from a family of worry warts and that's sort of "our thing."  Everyone worries about everyone else.  I knew that I'd worry about my kids and I was kind of looking forward to it.  But lately, this monster of anxiety has multiplied exponentially into a giant weight.  It feels like anxiety has pitched a tent on my shoulders and is eating nothing but whoppers and milk shakes so that every day he's heavier and heavier.  I worry about Sylvia ALL THE TIME!  The usual worries - is she eating enough?  Is she sleeping enough?  Am I doing this right?  Am I scarring her for life?  Then there are the irrational worries.  What if I forget about her and leave her in the car?  What if she's choking in her sleep?  What if Sylvain doesn't come back from the grocery store and leaves me with this baby all by myself?  What if I slip and fall and slice her head open on the corner of the coffee table?  What if she drowns in the lake when we go on vacation?  What if, what if, what if, what if, WHAT IF?????

Usually I can talk myself out of this irrational worrying.  I just tell myself, "Don't be silly.  That is so silly!  She is fine.  You are fine."  Then I remind myself, "Just have a little faith, for heaven's sake.  You're not the only one in charge of her.  There's a bigger force at work in her life and He has big plans for her.  Your job is just to love her.  Just love her the best you can."  And when that doesn't work, I scold myself, "What is your problem?!  Get it together!  Don't be ridiculous."  And usually, after one or all of these inner monologues followed by plenty of prayer, I feel much better. 

I also have the added bonus of living with a husband I can talk to.  He is a very rational person to begin with, but he's also accustomed to my worrysome ways.  He always puts my anxieties in perspective and can help me see the bigger picture.  I'll tell him one of my worries and explain how I know it's silly.  Sometimes he laughs at me, which is all I need to feel better.  But sometimes he engages in a serious converstaion about exactly what we would do if - fill in the blank.  And, as hard as some of those conversations are, I always feel better when they're over.

I decided to post this today because last night all of these irrational fears and worries finally seeped into my dreams.  I had three absolutely terrifying nightmares that all involved losing Sylvia or Sylvain or both of them.  At one point, I sat up in bed, looked at the clock, and decided to just wait for Sylvia to wake up instead of going back to sleep.  Sylvain asked me what was wrong, so I laid back down and told him I was having really bad dreams and I didn't want to talk about it.  He scootched over to me, wrapped me up in his arms, snuggled his head into my neck and fell asleep.  In a matter of minutes I was asleep, too, until Sylvia woke me up with her "Feed me!" cry.  I gladly hopped out of bed to go hold my baby girl and once she was in my arms, there was no more fear or worry.  When I'm holding her, I know that those moments don't last forever.  I naturally understand that this is not a time for worrying, it's a time for savoring.  If I could bottle up that feeling, that sense of urgency in the here and now, that rocking back and forth and holding on tight, well then, I wouldn't need to write about anxiety to feel better anymore.

Happy Memorial Day!

We had a lovely holiday weekend with my family.  We went to my cousin's graduation party Saturday night and left Sylvia there with my mom so we could go to the Red's game!  Mom and Jay watched Sylvia AND Charlie Saturday night at their house.  Everyone survived and it appears that the grandparents may have even enjoyed watching two babies at once (weirdos). 

We spent Sunday afternoon and evening at my dad's house, hanging out with grandparents and great grandparents.  The highlight of the day (other than the wonderful food), was watching Sylvia hang out with her Grandpa in the garage.  She loved the music and even held a wrench for a while.  They'll turn her into a mechanic before we know it.  Yipes!

Today we went to my Aunt Dar's house to go swimming, and to plop Sylvia in the pool for a few minutes to see how she would fare.  At first, when Sylvain dangled her feet in the water, she wailed like a banshee, but once she was in and became accustomed to the water, she was really digging it.  Here are a couple more shots of her first trip to the pool.

Cruising with Daddy in her gigatic, yet completely useful, sun hat.

Relaxing in the shade of Mama's body. 

(I was a tiny bit neurotic about her and the sun, but my mom was even more so.  Poor little Sylvia did not inherit the most sun-friendly skin tone.)

The girl just loves to be outside.  Grandpa says that means she'll be a good camper!  Overall it was a wonderful long weekend and the girl is pooped.  Let's hope she sleeps for quite a while tonight so Mom and Dad can get some rest.

My Night Out, His Night In

Last night I drove an hour and half to see Sex in the City 2 with my dear freinds, then drove an hour and half back to my baby.  It was a whirlwind trip and I was a whirlwind of emotions on the way there and back!  Here's how my first night out went down.

Sylvia woke up yesterday morning with crazy gunk in her eye.  I've already called the doctor's triage nurse once this week about the rash on her face (which is somehow related to her cradle cap, and apparently once we treat her head, her face should clear up.  Weird), so I decided to wait and see how she was acting before I called again.  I washed her eye with a warm washcloth and she was acting like her usual self all morning, until I tried to put her down for her nap.  She was extra fussy and seemed to want to do nothing but nurse, which had me a little worried.  I swaddled her snugly and tried again, and that really seemed to help.  When she woke up, though, her eye was leaking all kinds of green pussy grossness but she didn't have a fever.  (I've learned that whenever something is wrong with your baby, you have to take their temperature.  If they don't have a fever and they're behaving normally, then whatever is wrong with them is probably bothering you more than the baby.)  I went ahead and called the doctor, thinking the next call would be to my friends to tell them I wouldn't be able to go to the movie.  I was convinced that she needed me and that leaving her would be a huge mistake, even though Sylvain was planning to watch her. 

The triage nurse asked me to describe her eye and she asked me a lot of questions, then determined that she probably has a blocked tear duct, which apparently is pretty common in newborn babies.  She prescribed some ointment for her eye and told me that it should be fine in a few days.  I felt much better after talking to her, so I didn't call to cancel on the movie just yet.  I went to the pharmacy to pick up Sylvia's medicine, then took her home to give it to her and feed her and see how she was acting.  By the time Sylvain came home, she was fine.  I explained how to give her the ointment before bedtime and how to use the velcro swaddle blanket (note to self - buy ten more of these, they're awesome!), and I put out some milk to thaw from my secret stash in the freezer.  I was really nervous about leaving, but he was very confident that he could take just as good care of our baby as I could.  I threw on my new little black dress, and headed out the door.

The drive was really hard.  For the first half, I was working really hard to talk myself out of turning around and going home.  Part of me thought it was crazy to leave a pussy-eyed baby at home and part of me knew that she would be fine and I would have a good time.  I cried.  I missed her already and I wondered what she was doing.  I wondered if Sylvain was happy or frustrated.  If they were having fun or having a terrible time.  I was kind of a mess.  But then, when I passed the halfway point between here and there, I started to relax a little bit.  I started getting really excied about seeing my friends.  I started looking forward to the fancy drink I would get at the movie theater.  I turned my music up and started singing and realized that even though I felt guilty, it felt really good to be out in the real world without a baby.

I called Sylvain before and after the movie.  Both times he was in good spirits and said they were having a wonderful time together.  When I called him on the way home, he said she got a little fussy from 8 - 9, but once he gave her the medicine and fed her, she was fine.  Then he said something so amazing to me.  In the middle of his summary of their evening he said, "....and then we read a little bit..."  Gasp!  Melt. My. Heart.  He hasn't read a book to her yet, and I've only done it a few times, but the thought of daddy and daughter reading together put me right over the edge and I got all choked up.  That's when I knew that he can totally do this and he even enjoys it.  Not only did he read to her, he read her a French baby book!  What a wonderful Daddy.

I pulled in the driveway and braced myself to hear a crying, hungry baby when I walked through the door.  I missed her and I wanted to hold her, so I think a tiny part of me wanted her to be crying for her mama when I got home.  I stood on the porch and held my breath.  I turned the knob and slowly, gently, opened the door.   No crying baby.  Husband sprawled on the couch watching basketball.  He took one look at me and said, "She went to sleep at ten o'clock on the dot."  I let out a sigh of relief and sat on the couch next to him.  "Did she give you any trouble?" I asked.  "Nope.  She went right down and stayed alseep."  Oh, praise Jesus.  They did it.  I did it.  Everyone was a roaring success around here!

I couldn't remember the last time I was awake enough to enjoy some cuddle time on the couch with the hubs.  We talked and laughed and I felt all the love in this house just wash right over me.  It was fantastic!

Many Past Due Updates

I have a feeling I'm going to look back at this post in a few years and realize that it's completely ridiculous to document every moment of Sylvia's life like this, but I totally can't help it.  I have a ton of adorable pictures that I just saved to my computer and I picked the best ones to post here to update everyone on the goings-on of a six week old!  Enjoy.

Since she started throwing up all over the place, I bought one of those inclines that keep babies propped up while they sleep.  She hasn't thrown up at night since she started sleeping on it, but she HAS started doing this:

This is how I find her most mornings and after most naps.  I think it's absolutely hilarious.

My dad and stepmom gave Sylvia a rosebush when she was born and Sylvain planted it in the backyard along the fence where I can see it from the kitchen window.  On Mother's Day, one of the sweet blooms found it's way to my breakfast table.  My husband is the best.

This is where she sits when we eat dinner, and every once in a while she even lets us eat our entire meal without holding her.

 

A couple weeks ago, Laura came over to watch the Nugget while I ran some errands.  I was very excited about going out on my own without carting a baby around.  So excited, in fact, that I came home after less than an hour out and about, doing things that would have normally taken at least a couple of hours.  My timing was way off.  I think Laura enjoyed her short time with the baby anyway. 

 

I put a cute outfit on her and took a picture.

 

 Some of her friends came over to play...

  

But this is about as exciting as three new babies get:

 

Those babies belong to two of the couples from our childbirth class.  It was so nice to get together and talk about being new parents.  Turns out I'm not crazy and my baby is normal.  Phew!

We walked to church for the first time yesterday.  She smiles intentionally now, so I tried to catch a picture of an elusive smile while she was in her super pretty dress.

 

Oh, she's also been practicing her flying karate kicks.  Not bad for a novice. 

 

After church we took her outside while we did yard work.  She spent some tummy time on the blanket and Sylvain tried to teach her how to crawl.  She would be totally mobile if it weren't for that darn gigantic head weighing her down!

 

And as long as the weather stays nice all week, this is what we'll be doing every day:

 

Somewhere in the middle of all this "work" we managed to make a trip up North to see my family.  She spent some much needed time with the Grandparents and I got to relax a little bit while other people took care of her for a while.  Ahhhh.  We're going back this weekend for a graduation party, a Red's game, and a cookout.  Sylvain has one week of school left and then we'll be home free for the summer. 

Hip Hip Hooray!!!