Last night I drove an hour and half to see Sex in the City 2 with my dear freinds, then drove an hour and half back to my baby. It was a whirlwind trip and I was a whirlwind of emotions on the way there and back! Here's how my first night out went down.
Sylvia woke up yesterday morning with crazy gunk in her eye. I've already called the doctor's triage nurse once this week about the rash on her face (which is somehow related to her cradle cap, and apparently once we treat her head, her face should clear up. Weird), so I decided to wait and see how she was acting before I called again. I washed her eye with a warm washcloth and she was acting like her usual self all morning, until I tried to put her down for her nap. She was extra fussy and seemed to want to do nothing but nurse, which had me a little worried. I swaddled her snugly and tried again, and that really seemed to help. When she woke up, though, her eye was leaking all kinds of green pussy grossness but she didn't have a fever. (I've learned that whenever something is wrong with your baby, you have to take their temperature. If they don't have a fever and they're behaving normally, then whatever is wrong with them is probably bothering you more than the baby.) I went ahead and called the doctor, thinking the next call would be to my friends to tell them I wouldn't be able to go to the movie. I was convinced that she needed me and that leaving her would be a huge mistake, even though Sylvain was planning to watch her.
The triage nurse asked me to describe her eye and she asked me a lot of questions, then determined that she probably has a blocked tear duct, which apparently is pretty common in newborn babies. She prescribed some ointment for her eye and told me that it should be fine in a few days. I felt much better after talking to her, so I didn't call to cancel on the movie just yet. I went to the pharmacy to pick up Sylvia's medicine, then took her home to give it to her and feed her and see how she was acting. By the time Sylvain came home, she was fine. I explained how to give her the ointment before bedtime and how to use the velcro swaddle blanket (note to self - buy ten more of these, they're awesome!), and I put out some milk to thaw from my secret stash in the freezer. I was really nervous about leaving, but he was very confident that he could take just as good care of our baby as I could. I threw on my new little black dress, and headed out the door.
The drive was really hard. For the first half, I was working really hard to talk myself out of turning around and going home. Part of me thought it was crazy to leave a pussy-eyed baby at home and part of me knew that she would be fine and I would have a good time. I cried. I missed her already and I wondered what she was doing. I wondered if Sylvain was happy or frustrated. If they were having fun or having a terrible time. I was kind of a mess. But then, when I passed the halfway point between here and there, I started to relax a little bit. I started getting really excied about seeing my friends. I started looking forward to the fancy drink I would get at the movie theater. I turned my music up and started singing and realized that even though I felt guilty, it felt really good to be out in the real world without a baby.
I called Sylvain before and after the movie. Both times he was in good spirits and said they were having a wonderful time together. When I called him on the way home, he said she got a little fussy from 8 - 9, but once he gave her the medicine and fed her, she was fine. Then he said something so amazing to me. In the middle of his summary of their evening he said, "....and then we read a little bit..." Gasp! Melt. My. Heart. He hasn't read a book to her yet, and I've only done it a few times, but the thought of daddy and daughter reading together put me right over the edge and I got all choked up. That's when I knew that he can totally do this and he even enjoys it. Not only did he read to her, he read her a French baby book! What a wonderful Daddy.
I pulled in the driveway and braced myself to hear a crying, hungry baby when I walked through the door. I missed her and I wanted to hold her, so I think a tiny part of me wanted her to be crying for her mama when I got home. I stood on the porch and held my breath. I turned the knob and slowly, gently, opened the door. No crying baby. Husband sprawled on the couch watching basketball. He took one look at me and said, "She went to sleep at ten o'clock on the dot." I let out a sigh of relief and sat on the couch next to him. "Did she give you any trouble?" I asked. "Nope. She went right down and stayed alseep." Oh, praise Jesus. They did it. I did it. Everyone was a roaring success around here!
I couldn't remember the last time I was awake enough to enjoy some cuddle time on the couch with the hubs. We talked and laughed and I felt all the love in this house just wash right over me. It was fantastic!
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