Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Two Months

Dear Sylvia,

Today you are exactly two months old and all I can say is....

you're alseep.

Halleluiah, praise the Lord, you are ASLEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!

Daddy and I have been working very hard to put you to bed every night this month and it appears that we may have finally figured out what you need.  Unfortunately, what you need is very difficult for me, because you've made it clear that you need to be left alone to cry.  Oh my god, I have to let you CRY and it kills me.  Here's your usual bedtime routine: bath, pajamas, book, prayers, lullaby.  Somewhere in there you get your last meal of the day, usually between pajamas and reading a book.  Sometimes you fall asleep long before we finish the bedtime routine, but for the last couple weeks, you have started to cry when we lay you down in bed.  This usually leads to Daddy and I taking turns going into your room, sitting next to your bed and shushing you or giving you a pacifier, or patting you, or singing to you, or pleading with you by shouting, "Dear God, child, just go to SLEEP!" and then storming out of your room, instructing the other one that it's their turn.  You are one tough nighttime cookie.

So, last night, after lots of help and advice from other parents with babies, we decided to let you "cry it out."  We went through the routine, then I laid you down in bed and you started your usual shreiking.  I had to walk away from you, which was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.  It was harder than giving birth to you.  It was harder than Sister Anita Marie's calculus class in high school.  It was harder than driving through Taos, New Mexico in a stick shift in the pouring down rain.  It was HARD and I cried when I left your room.  I went outside to sit with Daddy and some friends, and after about a half hour, we all went inside to discover that you were asleep.  What a relief!

This morning I rushed into your room as soon as I heard you cry.  I fed you, unswaddled you and brought into bed with me and Daddy so we could all snuggle together as a family.  I want you to know that no matter how hard you cry at night, no matter how lonely you might get in the big crib in that dark room, Daddy and I will ALWAYS be there in the morning to pick you up and shower you with hugs and kisses.  Tonight, we tried the same thing again.  We went through our routine and I laid you down in bed.  You cried, I cried, but before I could even get to the back door to sit outside with Daddy...you stopped.  You were alseep.  It was so quick and so easy for you.  I was so proud of you and I suddenly realized that this is what you've needed all along.  You just need us to LEAVE YOU THE HECK ALONE!  If you could talk last week, I bet you would have said, "Stop picking me up and bouncing me, Mommy!  Enough with the shushing and the singing and the touching!  I'm almost asleep, just leave me alone!"  You're so independent like that.  What a good girl.

Other than going to sleep like a crazy person, your second month has been filled with adorable smiles and stunning glances.  Sometimes you turn your head and smile at me sideways which just melts my heart all to pieces.  You love to be outside and you love to watch the sunshine music player on your play mat.  But the toy you are totally into right now?  Your vibrating yellow duckie.  Daddy and I call him Mr. Quack Cocaine because we have never seen anyone so addicted to an object.  I don't know what it is about that duck, but when you see him, your face lights up like you just won a million dollars and you know exactly what you're going to do with it. (Buy your parents a boat?  Think about it.)

You've made lots of new friends this month; mostly strangers in public who come up to us and say something like, "Excuse me, but I just have to tell you, that has got to be the cutest baby I've ever seen!"  And I'm all, "Way to go, buddy, you're giving my kid such an ego!"  But it's okay because it's true.  You are the cutest baby on the planet and we might as well be going out to dinner with a celebrity - a big one.  You also get lots of visitors around here, especially Uncle Jordan, who has agreed to be your Godfather.  This means he has to buy you lots of presents and show up for every birthday party, which is kind of a big deal.  I hope you don't have any birthday parties on the same nights as his shows, because he's going to have to choose and I'd hate for him to fail miserably as a Godfather or a musician.  Tough call, little one.  We'll see how it goes; we have plenty of backup Godfathers just in case, but I think he'll work out just fine.

Nugget, we love you.  You light up our life and bring such joy into this family, even when you're being a turd at bedtime.  Now that we're starting to figure things out, I hope you continue to fall asleep well so you can go on being the happiest, most darling baby in the world. 



krissy said...

I have to say you are a lot faster at realizing this than lots of mom's. It's so hard and such a freedom at the same time. You'll start to learn her little tricks in lots of areas. I'm so glad you figured this one out!

krissy said...

one more thing, about your last post on PPD~ whether you have that or not, your just learning the very hardest thing about parenting... you love her and you hate the idea of anything bad happening. I had no idea the deapth of that love either. But it's been amazing to me as I learn that God actually loves her and us MORE than we do and we have to trust that we are only his tools. He is in control and He is GOOD!! He went to the cross for us! Ps 4:8 is one that I memorized early on when I was so worried over John Patrick too. Now, I've taught it to him when he's worried about monsters in his closet. :-)
I love your honesty.