Ten Months

Dearest Little Girl,

Tonight is the perfect night to write your ten month letter because you and I just had a little moment that I never, ever want to forget.  You've had a very busy weekend, clutching onto the furniture and the walls while you motor around the house, forcing me and Daddy to stay one step behind you all the time.  You are very good at letting us know what you want, and what you DON'T want, and your independent personality is really a sight to see.  I won't lie, baby.  There were a couple times this weekend where I thought to myself, "I'll be glad when you can just TALK!" or "I'll be glad when you can feed yourself, or dress yourself, or go to the bathroom!"  I was beyond exhausted trying to keep up with you and give you everything you need.  But tonight I was given a drastic reminder to slow down.

After a rowdy jaunt in the bathtub, where you constantly tried to crawl and stand up and grab everything within your hand's reach, Daddy and I wrestled you into your pajamas, and I sat down to give you a bottle and put you to bed.  You were very tired, so as soon as that bottle hit your lips, you laid your head on my arm and finally....stopped.  Your fingers curled around the bottle and your eyes got droopy and before I knew it, you were asleep.  It's been a long time since you fell asleep in my lap.  You usually drink your bottle, we read a book, and you climb into bed to snuggle with your Dou Dou Bunny and fall asleep.  When I realized how asleep you were, I thought about just tossing you straight into bed, but I decided, at the last minute, to put you up on my shoulder to see if you'd let me rock with you for a little while.

Your head flopped onto my shoulder and your arm wrapped around my neck.  I thought you'd certainly wake up and start pushing away, begging for your bed, but you didn't.  I wrapped my arm around your back and closed my eyes while we rocked, and I just let the love and warmth of you flood my heart.  All of a sudden it hit me -

You are so big.

I used to prop your little butt up on my chest as you laid your head on my shoulder, but not tonight.  Tonight your knees reached all the way down to my waist, and your feet laid in my lap.  Your back seemed so wide across my chest and I could not believe how much bigger you felt to me than just a few months ago.

At the end of a day where I spent most of my time wishing you would grow up, I suddenly found my heart screaming for time to slow down!  I knew that with every extra rock, I was spending one extra second with my sweet Nugget, who won't let me do this for much longer.  I stood up and walked to your bed and I didn't want to put you down, because I knew that tomorrow morning, you'll be another day older.  I just wanted to stand there and hold onto you forever.  

I eventually did put you down to bed and I've been sitting on the computer looking through pictures of you from the last ten months.  I am so excited to see you grow up, Nugget.  I can't wait to see what you'll be able to do, and who you'll become.  You have already exceeded all of my expectations for the last ten months.  I never, ever, in a million years, ever thought we would love you this much.  You are the greatest.  Happy ten months, little girl!

We love you!

Forever and ever,
Mama