I'd like to interrupt these beautiful birth stories to bring you....MY RAGING HORMONES! When people ask me how I'm feeling these days, the answer is always a cheerful, "Great! I feel great!" Which is totally true. Compared to other pregnancies, mine has been a breeze so far. No sickness or ickyness, no physical problems whatsoever. But in the last two days, the emotional side effects of pregnancy have reared their ugly heads, all fifteen of them, from my own body.
I've always prided myself on my uncanny ability to cry at the drop of a hat for no good or rational reason - this is nothing new. I'm an emotional person to begin with, so I thought this pregnancy stuff would be just like regular times for me. For the most part, it is just like regular times, but now I go from happy to sad to sentimental to angry to exuberant to scared to silly all within a matter of fifteen minutes. And it's driving my husband crazy - especially today. Since we've spent all day together, he's the only person who gets to catch the brunt of my hormonal surges, poor thing.
One minute I'm close to tears because I have the greatest husband in the world. If it weren't for him I wouldn't have this beautiful baby girl growing inside of me, or a beautiful Christmas tree in my living room, or any food on the table (he's the cook around here), or anyone to cuddle with when it's cold outside....blah blah blah cry cry cry. Then, within the next TWO MINUTES, I'm close to tears again because I hate my husband and he's the meanest person on the planet. Why does he treat me this way? Why would he say things so mean and hurtful and terrible like, "Are you hormonal or something?" He must hate my guts. Our baby is doomed, our marriage is doomed...blah blah blah cry cry cry some more.
I wouldn't even admit to having these mood swings if it didn't take three other people to point out that I sound "hormonal." To me, I sound perfectly rational and sane while the rest of the world spins around me in a crazy mess. Then, when things slow down and I have a chance to reflect on the day, I realize - I've almost cried TEN TIMES today for TEN COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REASONS! That's not normal. I must be....hormonal. Ugh.
I think a lot of this comes from lack of sleep, which I will do my best to fix tonight. With a good night's sleep and a whole Sunday at home with nothing too pressing or urgent to do, I might be able to balance myself out a little bit. Ooh, and lots of tea. Tea's good for that right? Hopefully tomorrow the crazy lady inside of me won't be around. Hopefully.