Saturday, February 4, 2012

Twenty Two Months

Dear Sylvia,

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the sight of you, or even just the thought of you.  Every day you're a little bit bigger, a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger; and you're turning into the world's sweetest toddler, moving farther and farther away from being "my baby."  This weekend your toddlerness really got to me, and I had to have a good cry about it after you went to bed.  I didn't cry because I was frustrated or worn out, I cried because I love you so much, and your grown up attitude made every second of today so easy.  We read books together, made meals together, snuggled on the couch together while the rain poured outside and I felt your little body against my chest - realized that you are so big and so small at the same time.  I'm constantly amazed at the things you know and do.  You understand so much of what I say and how we do things around here.  You can tell me what you want and what you need and what you think.  You're turning into my little buddy and I loved every single second of the time I spent with you today, as always.

This week we get to find out if you're going to have a little brother or a little sister!  I've spent many sleepless nights during the last few months worrying about how I might not be giving this new baby the time or attention he or she needs because I'm so busy taking care of you.  But today those feelings flip flopped and I started worrying about whether or not I was giving YOU the attention you need before the baby gets here...and whether or not you'll get the attention you need after the baby gets here.  So, before I begin the journey of parenting two children, I want to say a few things to you.  Just to you.  From me.  Mama to Sylvia:

You are smart.  You are the smartest person I know.  Sometimes you think you can't do things, but I know that you can and when you do something you didn't know you could do, I see a light dance in your eyes and I'm filled with such pride.

You make me so proud.  Just the act of getting you out of bed in the morning makes me proud of you.  Every smile, every giggle, every jump, puzzle, game, song, or forkful of waffles to your mouth makes me proud.  You amaze me.

We love you.  Daddy and I have never loved anyone so much.  Sometimes we stare at each other over your head while you sit in the shopping cart and we know that you made us so much better.  You made us a family.  You made us a Mommy and a Daddy.  You are the very best daughter a Mommy and Daddy could ever have.

So here comes the last few months of "the three of us."  I know that someday we'll look back on this time and wonder how we ever functioned as a family of three.  We'll say, "How did we ever live without little so-and-so?"  And we'll feel complete again, just like we feel right now.  I'm sure it'll be a transition, but I know we'll get there.  It happened very shortly after you came along almost two years ago.  Life before you seems so far away.  And if this second child turns out to be anything like you, even just a little bit, we'll be the luckiest family in the world!

Thank you for being you,

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