....is the only word that can describe my thoughts at the moment. I spent all of last week figuring out how to send a kid to day care, and I've decided it will take me the rest of this week to figure out how to get everything done at work in the short amount of time I have each day. I wish I could show you a chart with three columns - one for my old school-day schedule, one for my stay-at-home-with-a-baby schedule, and one for the OH MY GOD I HAVE TO DO BOTH OF THESE???? schedule. The first two columns would look normal and the third column would look like an ink pen exploded on it. And there would probably be some baby puke on it too.
Needless to say, this transition from home to work has been a bit daunting. I had a few practice days of day care, which were very useful insomuch as they gave me three days to cry before I had anything too important or pressing to do at work. It turns out I only needed one day to cry and then I was done. That's how much I love my job. Last week, though, was the real, honest-to-goodness, on the go from 6am to 10pm, days. Not counting the middle of the night 20 minute feeding sessions, which, thanks to my blessed child, have been diminished to one. One feeding at 4 am, and sometimes not until 6 am. This kid is good. Really, really good.
But people, I feel like I am running ragged from sun up to sun down - and I have a husband who easily does half the work when we're home! How does ANYONE do this?? I wake up at 6:00 and give myself a pep talk that goes something like this: "Okay, Rach. It's time to wake up. DON'T HIT THAT SNOOZE BUTTON OR YOUR ENTIRE DAY WILL BE NINE MINUTES OFF!!" And that's pretty much all it takes to get me out of bed. I shower, get myself ready, eat breakfast (if I remember), fold some laundry, and wake up the nugget for her morning feeding, after which I slap some play clothes on her and strap her into her carrier because we have got to GO. I drop her off, unpack her things in her room at day care, and give her a big fat kiss. I walk slowly out of the door so I don't look like a complete idiot to all of the other well-adjusted and put-together parents, then, when no one's looking, I sprint to my car and rush to work. I run around like a maniac at work all day, squeezing in a pumping session or two, get home, nurse the nugget, eat dinner, feed the nugget baby food, wash dishes, start a load of laundry, bathe the nugget, and put the nugget to bed, which happens to be the most amazing and relaxing 20 minutes of my day. After bedtime, I somehow manage to muster enough energy to check my email or call my mom, before WHAM! It's 9:30pm and I have no idea where my day just went. Oh, but wait! I can't go to bed until I pump again, wash some bottles, and get all of Sylvia's bottles and bags ready for day care the next day. It's only been one week and I feel like I'm losing my freaking mind!
Seeing her smile when I walk in the door makes it totally worth it. I have, and I'm not exaggerating, the most wonderful, adorable, delightful child on the entire planet. I've met a lot of kids, and mine is the coolest. Hands down. No contest. The three of us managed to sit down on the couch for about 15 minutes between dishes and bath time tonight, and it was the most wonderful 15 minutes of the last two weeks. It was a nice, quiet, peaceful time where all 3 of us were just simply and wonderfully....together. I know we'll get this down soon enough. I know this will get easier, and at times, I know it will be harder. For now, we're all just running around like chickens with our heads cut off, but we're enjoying every blessed minute of it!