"Everywhere I'm Looking Now / I'm Surrounded By Your Embrace"

Pregnancy Story Part 2 - not as gross as the last one.

Sylvain came home the day after I wrote that post and saw the present I left for him on the bed. I heard a loud, "Whaaat?" come from the bedroom, so I ran in there and we just stood there facing each other for a few seconds before we both starting giggling and hugging each other. Then we laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes while I told him all about the day before. He kept looking at the pregnancy tests and finally said, "Well, at least we know we're doing something right." We talked about when to tell everyone, and decided that we had to tell the cousins when they got here, since they would be living with us for three weeks, and that we'd tell our parents as soon as we saw them.

The only parent we were able to see within the three week cousin visit was my Mom. We had to tell the rest of them over the phone, which was disappointing for me, but my Stepmom made me feel a lot better about it when she said, "Hey, good news is good news. It doesn't matter how you tell it." So true. Out of the four sets of parents that we told, my Dad's reaction was my favorite. He answered the phone, which is rare, and I said, "You're just the person I want to talk to. Guess what?" "What?" "I'm pregnant!" Short pause and then - "Oh God, oh honey, oh my, oh...well, that's just, oh honey, oh God, that's great news, oh honey, oh..." We laughed and I tried to get him to SAY SOMETHING, and finally he said, "Here. Talk to Sally. I'm gonna go walk in the woods." "Okay, Dad." Then Sally got on the phone and said, "Rachael, your father just fell backwards on the couch when he heard your news." Hilarious, and totally Dad-like.

Within a week of taking the pregnancy tests, I did not need two pink lines to tell me I was pregnant. I was crazy nauseous, I had a terrible taste in my mouth and I was TTIIIIRREED. I never threw up, but while I was setting up my classroom and during the first couple weeks of school, I really had to slow down and take it easy for fear I would hurl all over my alphabet carpet. Once I figured out how to eat right and once I switched to taking my vitamins after dinner (good advice from my Stepmom), I felt much better.

The only other thing really bothering me during weeks 6 - 9 were my freaking pants! Nothing fit me anymore and I felt like I had already gained 20 pounds in my gut. The kids started to notice, too. One day I was standing in front of my class and I accidentally burped (not a belch, more of a hiccup) and I said, "Sorry guys, I'm a little burpy today." A boy sitting right up front looks straight at me and says in all seriousness...."Are you pregnant?" I was taken aback, to say the least, and I did NOT want to answer that question. Every good teacher knows that to avoid answering a question you just ask them one in return, so I said, "Now T., why would you say something like that?" and the boy behind him says, in all seriousness..."Because of your stomach." Holy cow! I thought. I'm never wearing this dress to school AGAIN! So I looked at both of them and said, in all seriousness..."Boys, here's a life lesson for you. Don't ever ask a woman if she's pregnant because she might just be FAT!" They shut up pretty quickly. That was a close one. A few days later, another kid in another class asked me if I was pregnant while I was walking by him, and I pretended like I didn't hear him and just kept on walking. I don't know how long I can pull it off before I have to spill the beans, but I'm going to try to make it as long as I can!

Within the last week, we've pretty much told almost everyone we know. I even announced it on Facebook, which I was dying to do for the longest time! I know it's still really early and they say you should wait until you're out of your first trimester to tell, but I just can't keep a secret, and I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time anyway, so I have no problem sharing joys or sorrows with all of these people. Besides, we need all the prayers we can get!

Aside from the crazy symptoms and the pesky fourth graders, I've been in a very Zen state of mind these last few weeks. My brain still can't quite grasp the fact that I'm pregnant, even though my body keeps reminding me. I've been reading lots of books and I bought a "40 Weeks +" organizer, which I love, but I still can't beleive it's happening for real.

I'm surprised at what it's done to my mood. I used to think that when I got prengant and had a kid, I'd be a terrible teacher, because I used to put 110% into teaching and could never understand how a person could be a great teacher and a great parent. However, when school started I noticed that I was focusing my energy on the things that really mattered and not bothering myself with all the small things that can wait. I look at my kids and think about how they used to be inside someone's "belly" all safe and snug and warm, and now they're in this harsh, cold world we call "school," so I see it as my job to make them feel safe again. I really love my class this year, and I wonder if it's because I'm pregnant and I just love everyone right now! Every morning when we sit down on the carpet together I think, "This is the class I get to be pregnant with!" and I feel so lucky. I nag less, although some days are worse than others. I feel like I'm more patient with them and I feel like I just glide through every day with my little secret tucked into the back of my brain. There's this gem of knowledge that pushes me forward with the thought that I'm going to be a Mom, and everything I say and do needs to reflect a sense of calm and quiet. I need to ignore the small, silly stuff that would have pushed me over the edge last year, and focus on the big, amazing things my kids are doing. I think we're all better for it and I know it's going to be an awesome year!

I still have a lot to write about (maternity clothes, grandma's reaction, and bananas) but that's enough for tonight. Send happy thoughts our way tomorrow at 1:00!