Happy Mother's Day

I was inspired by the folks at Rants From Mommyland to rethink Mother's Day this year.  I tried to rethink it last year, but I didn't rethink far enough and I ended up disappointed.  No, not disappointed.  How could I have been disappointed with a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby girl and another one on the way?  I think I just felt a little....empty.  I'm fairly new to the receiving end of Mother's Day and I've had to make sense of all the jewelry commercials, radio ads, and the evil, evil, Pinterest ideas that all shouted: YOU'RE A MOM!  YOU DESERVE BREAKFAST IN BED AND A DAY THE SPA! YOU'RE WORTH IT BECAUSE MOMS ARE AMAZING AND YOU'RE SO TIRED!!!  I worked really hard last year to drown out that noise and focus on what I already have...and to be grateful.  But honestly, that was hard.  I wanted.  I wanted something.  A card.  A gift.  Okay, a day at the spa.  I didn't want to want it, but there it was, on the morning of Mother's Day - a "where's mine" feeling and I hated it.  So when I saw that Rants From Mommyland was doing the same project this year, I knew it was the only way to counteract those noisy, consumer-driven marketing ninjas.

I slapped up a post on Facebook to see if anyone would be interested in joining me for a stuffing party to make swag bags for mothers in need in our area.  Turns out...LOTS of people were interested.  I got excited.  My brain was rethinking and my heart knew we were headed in the right direction. I contacted the Women's Crisis Center, a place where women and families can go to escape domestic violence and sexual abuse, to see if they could use goodie bags full of fun mama things: lotion, chapstick, nail polish, make up, jewelry; and fun kid things: coloring books, stuffed animals, bubbles.  The lady on the line sounded very happy to hear of our project and mentioned that the women also love to get flowers.  Something they can put in their rooms and take with them when they leave. 

Easy, I thought.  I can totally make that happen.  I think.  I'll try at least.  We'll see how it goes.

 I made the stuffing party Facebook Official and the donations came pouring in!  I was in awe.  My mom called around and got a great deal on flowers.  People from out of town sent checks in the mail.  Friends I haven't seen in years were knocking on my door with donations, stopping by for just a quick second on their way to other places, but stopping by because they knew.  They knew the secret mama code.  They knew that all moms are important.

I want to make this clear, to myself and my girls who will one day read this:  I wanted to do this project because in my heart I know the right way - the only way - to celebrate Mother's Day is to lift up other mothers.  Because I know how hard it is to be a Mom with all of the blessings and resources I have, so I owe it to my fellow mothers to share the love.  And oh my word, how much love we shared!  Check this out:

Sylvia and Cici making Mother's Day cards

Ann, Michelle, and Justin sorting Mama gifts.

Swag bags!

Sylvia adding bubbles to the kid buckets.

Margot was useless, but at least she's cute! Can you see her mohawk?!

Shelby - quality control for all volunteer snacks.

Justin and Ann sorting jewelry while Sylvain supervises.  To be fair, Sylvain was on baby duty. 

Shelby and Margot keeping each other busy!

I knew this would be a fun project, but my heart was split open in so many unexpected ways.  When I'm going through the day to day motions of motherhood, the exhausting and consuming tasks that never seem to end, I forget that I know wonderful people.  I forget that I'm surrounded by people who love me, who love each other, who love making the world a better place...people who love to love!  It was truly inspiring.

And one more thing before I climb into bed - Sylvia.  I wanted her to be a part of this project because I wanted to show her that she's blessed.  She's old enough to understand the concept of giving, so I wanted this to be meaningful, but not a burden, to her.  Obviously, I couldn't explain "domestic violence" or "sexual abuse" to such a tiny girl, so instead I chose to talk about an easy word and one she knew...

Safe.

I explained to her that we were making gifts for people who had to leave their homes because they were not safe.  I told her that all of the bubbles and the teddy bears were going to kids who had to sleep in a different bed than they usually do and these things might help them feel a little more cozy.  I asked her if she wanted to help and she said yes.  On Sunday, she didn't throw any fits when I told her to put all of those shiny new things in the kids' buckets.  Every time we gave her a new item she asked, "Are these for ME?!" And I always said, "No, they go in the buckets." And she never complained, not even once.

Then, yesterday, as we drove down to the Crisis Center to deliver our gifts and the flowers, Sylvia and I had this amazing conversation:

Sylvia: Mommy, are we taking those buckets to the shelter?
Me: Yes, remember when we made them?  You were very helpful.
Sylvia: Are those kids safe now?
Me: Yes, honey, they are safe.
Sylvia: They had to leave their house?
Me: Yes, they had to leave so they could be safe.
Sylvia: My house is safe.
Me: Yes, your house is safe...(holding back tears)...and your house will always be safe.
Sylvia:  Yes, I am aaaalllllways safe at my house!  With you and me and Daddy and Margot!
Me: Yes....(at a loss for words)...yes, honey.

And I held back tears all the way there.  We got out of the car and I started unloading our goodies onto the sidewalk.  Sylvia grabbed a bag that was way too heavy for her.  I watched her tiny blonde head lean to the side as she hauled that bag toward the door and I said a silent prayer of gratitude. 

I didn't want a gift because I wanted this year to be different.  I was planning to distract myself from the noise.  I was not prepared to find myself drowning in the real meaning of Mother's Day, feeling blessed beyond words.  I forgot that sometimes, that's what giving to others can do. 

So, to all my friends and fellow mothers, to everyone who makes a mama's load lighter, to the mamas I'll never meet who are doing the best they can with what they've been given, to my own mothers and grandmothers...Happy Mother's Day.  I love you.

10 Months (okay, 10.5...whatever)

Dear Margot L'Escargot,

I'm sorry, but Daddy and Sylvia have officially given you your nickname.  It was brought up only a few days after you were born, when a book titled Margot L'Escargot arrived in the mail from Papi.  It's a darling little book about a sweet snail named Margot, but I had some major concerns.  Okay, one major concern: I didn't want anyone calling you a snail.  I know!  It doesn't make sense!  I don't know why I'm okay with calling Sylvia a nugget, but I refuse to call you a snail.  Nicknames are funny that way.  Maybe I was just upset because I didn't come up with it myself.  Either way, I put my foot down and scolded Daddy and Sylvia whenever they called you Margot L'Escargot.  I did the same thing when Daddy tried to call you Margot Blargot.  That one will NOT FLY!  But here's the thing about the snail name...

You're kind of, a little bit, totally like a snail.

You can do some amazing things, Miss Margot.  You can clap, you can sing, you can wave bye-bye, you can feed yourself, you can shake a maraca like it's your job...but it took you ten and a half months to learn how to crawl!  I know that's not a big deal, plenty of kids don't crawl at ten months, but you were showing no signs of wanting to move anywhere - at all - ever.  That's when Daddy pulled out the nickname and it stuck.  Because it fit.  And for some reason, at that particular point in time, I thought it was cute.  So there you go.

You must have an IQ of four million, because it seemed like as soon as you heard that nickname you were all, "Excuse me?!  Are you calling me a SNAIL?  THAT'S IT!  I've had enough!  I'm outta here!"  And you crawled away.  Just UP AND CRAWLED like you've been doing it your whole life!  The "rocking back and forth" phase lasted, like, one day, and then you were OFF!  I couldn't believe it.  So now you're stuck with this adorable nickname and it's even funnier because you are FAST!  You're welcome.

I'm very proud of you for giving us the baby equivalent of the finger.  Don't let anyone tell you who are or what you can do.  And when someone says you can't do something, you just go right ahead and SHOW them that you can.  I think that'll be your gig.  Judging by your tenacity and your gigantic, powerful set of lungs, I don't think anyone will ever assume you can't do anything.  You're a go-getter, Miss Margot.  And I love it!

Just remember, no matter how far that go-getter, up-yours, I-can-do-this attitude takes you, there will always be a warm pair of arms here to hold you when you need it. 

You can be as tough as nails out in the real world, but your Daddy knows the truth.  You're his Margot L'Escargot and you can slow down with us whenever you want.

Love you Forever and Ever,
Mama

P.S.  So sorry I haven't kept up with monthly letters.  This two-kid gig is tougher than I thought. 
 

Our Flying Piglet!

It's no secret to anyone who has met her that Sylvia likes to RUN.  She never walks anywhere and sometimes we let her run ahead of us a bit farther than we should because we always get concerned looks from other adults in public when they realize that the speeding munchkin who passed them 50 yards ago wasn't alone but must belong to us.  She runs circles around the dinner table, she runs up and down the street, she runs through the halls at school, she runs everywhere she goes!  At least once a week her running involves an epic face plant, and now that the weather is warm and she's wearing shorts and skirts, that means she has a permanent set of scraped knees.  She gets that from me.

Back in February I found out that The Flying Pig Marathon (which is a HUGE deal here in Cincinnati) was holding a Flying Piglet Fun Run for tiny tots like mine who love to run!  I signed that girl up the minute I found out and marked our calendar!  My only reservation was the 1:15 start time, which is dangerously close to the sacred double-child afternoon nap, also known as The Only Way Mama Can Hang On To Her Sanity.  I figured we'd just make it a late nap and cross our fingers that it worked.  It worked just fine (although, as I type this at 9:20 pm Sylvia's upstairs doing gymnastics in her bed, so I can't proclaim the late nap a success quite yet).

The Reynolds' family joined us for an afternoon of bridge walking, riverside picnicking, and of course - kid racing!  It was really, super fun.  The Dads had it worse than The Moms, though, because they had to stand in the corral of whiny children, shoulder to shoulder with other strung out parents wondering why they chose to force their child to skip a nap.  When our girls finally got to the starting line, they were all smiles!  And Sylvia was very impressed with her medal and her goodie bag of treats she received after finishing! 

Buddies getting ready to cross the Purple People Bridge

Best seats in the house.

At the starting line!  Cici is skeptical.

The lady in the pink has the microphone and she's asking Sylvia if she's going to run fast!

And they're off!

Go, Nugget, Go!

Approaching the finish line!

One Happy Piglet

Way to go, girls!

I totally would have signed Margot up for the Diaper Dash, but in February she wasn't crawling yet and as of today she's only been crawling proficiently for about a week!  That girl is not in a hurry to go anywhere (and I'm GLAD)!  She had a dandy time sitting in the grass and watching her big sister run like the wind!  It was a beautiful day with good friends.  Now it's off to bed so we can wake up early and watch the REAL Flying Pig tomorrow morning....if the Flying Piglet upstairs ever falls asleep.

A Natural

My cousin Abby handed down her beloved karaoke machine to our sweet Sylvia.  I couldn't imagine anyone would want to give away such an amazing toy, so I made sure to ask her if she really wanted to give it to us.  Her response?  "Oh yeah, I have, like, a WAY better one now.  That one doesn't even have radio."  SOLD!  THANKS, ABBY!!

Unless you're familiar with Sylvia's two favorite songs, you probably won't understand what she's singing.  I wish I knew how to put subtitles on videos, but I don't, so you'll have to trust me - she nails it!

This one is "So This is Love" from Cinderella...

And this one is "Once Upon a Dream" from Sleeping Beauty...

I'm not gonna lie, I get a thrill from watching my girl sing.  If I had less self control, I'd have her signed up for every Toddlers and Tiaras competition within a 200 mile radius, but alas, I try not to imprint my own hopes and dreams onto my child.  It's hard, though!  Obviously, she'd win every single time.

36 Months

Dear Sylvia,

I hope you enjoyed your birthday extravaganza weekend!  I certainly enjoyed watching you.  There's something about you now that screams "Big Girl" and it's not your big girl screams, although they are fantastic.  There's something about the way you look and the way you act that make you seem like such a grown up, even though you're still so tiny.  In fact, just tonight you asked me, "Mommy, am I a big girl?"  I said yes.  You said, "But I'm not all the way big."  I said, no, not yet.  You said, "I'm just a little bit big."  Yes, honey, you're getting bigger every day.  "But I'm still tiny."

Indeed.

How is it that you can seem so big and so tiny all at once?  You are not a baby anymore and having Margot around just reminds me of that fact.  You talk like a big girl and walk like a big girl, but sometimes you seem so, so small.  I think you're starting to understand what it means to be small.  Not just physically, either.  You starting to think that small means scared.  And small means sick.  And small means I can't I can't I can't!  That's why I introduced you to a wonderful new word recently.  A word that fits you well, especially while you're still small...

Brave.

You're learning that you need to be brave.  You're learning that all kids do brave things.  Like go to school.  Or ride your bike.  Or try that new vegetable.  It finally dawned on me that you say, "My belly hurts!" when you're nervous or scared.  I know what that feels like in my belly and it's weird and uncomfortable.  But I also know what it feels like to be brave.  To walk away from my Mommy and hop on a school bus.  To paddle that canoe by myself for the first time.  To ask that little girl if she wants to play with me and my friends.  When I do those important things, the feeling in my belly changes.  It starts to feel better and I start to feel happy.  That's what I want you to do.  Do brave things.

Sylvia, you asked me what brave means and I told you: it means that you do important things, even when you're scared.  You said, "I'm not brave, Mommy, I'm scared."  I tried to rephrase it in a way you'd understand, so I said, "That's okay!  You can be brave AND scared, in fact, every brave person is usually scared, too.  That's what makes them brave!  They do things they're scared of!"  It started to sink in.  You asked if your favorite princesses were brave and I had to be honest.  Rapunzel was brave when she left her tower.  Cinderella was brave when she asked her stepmother if she could go to the ball.  Tianna was brave when she kissed that frog and Belle was brave when she agreed to live in the Beast's castle.  Ariel's not brave, she's an idiot.  Snow White...I'm on the fence about her.  And there's a new princess in a new movie called....wait for it...BRAVE!  Can you believe that?  I have no idea if she's brave or not because we haven't seen it, but I'm willing to bet she is.

The point is, I wanted brave to be more than a story for you.  So, I told you how brave Grammy is when she invites everyone over for dinner.  And how brave Grandpa is when he goes camping in the woods.  And how brave Uncle Evan is because he lives far, far away.  And how brave all of your friends are because they leave their mommies and daddies every day to go to school.

But what I wanted to tell you are the real stories of bravery in your family.  These are stories you can't understand yet because you don't know what it's like to be afraid of dying.  I wanted to tell you that Uncle Evan is fighting in a war, just like my Grandpa did.  I wanted to tell you that G.G. raised six kids by herself after her husband died.  I wanted to tell you that Mamie and Papi moved to the United States and Daddy had to go to an American school even though he couldn't speak English!  Someday we'll tell you these stories, but for now, I just want you to know that....you can be brave, too.  You ARE brave.  It's in your blood.

We asked you where you wanted to go for your birthday today and you said, "The MOO ZEE UM!" So we took you to the Children's Museum and the Natural History Museum and you had a wonderful day.  As we were walking through the cave, with its narrow pathways and dripping water and dimly lit rock walls, you asked if you could go in front.  Daddy and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.  We knew there were lots of steps and uneven floors, but we knew you'd be fine.  We approached a corner in the cave that was very dark and we could hear the running water on the other side.  I was holding Margot, so you asked Daddy to pick you up and he did.  We stood there together as a family for a minute when I said to you, "Sylvia, are you scared?" You nuzzled into Daddy's shoulder and said, "Yeah...I'm scared."  I said, "Do you want to walk around that corner by yourself?"  You straightened up, smiled at me, and narrowed your eyes as if to say, "Oh YEAH!  I know what you're getting at, lady - and I LIKE IT!"  You didn't even say yes, you just lunged out of Daddy's arms and started to tiptoe toward the corner, giggling like a maniac.  You jumped into the next cave room, a beautiful waterfall with stalactites and stalagmites everywhere.  You shouted, "Oh, dis is COOL!!!" and you maneuvered your way through more tunnels and staircases.  When we were out of the cave, I said, "Wow, Sylvia, you were a good leader in there, even though you were scared."  I was hoping you would get the point, and you did.  You shouted, "Yes, I WAS a good leader!  And I'm BRAVE!"  Yes, you are, my dear.  You are totally brave.

So, as you drift of to sleep (actually, you're jumping up and down in your bed right now at 9:09pm which is quite brave of you because you know Daddy's going to come up there and he will NOT be happy!) please know that I'm sitting here soaking in the beauty of this third birthday.  I'm trying to imagine my life before you, when I repelled off of cliffs and flew off to foreign countries by myself.  But NOTHING has made me as brave, or as grateful, humble and proud, as being your Mama.  You truly are my greatest adventure.  Thank you for being you.  I love you beyond words.

Always and Forever,
Mama 

P.S.  I'm all for you being a princess when you grow up, but you better be the kind of princess that serves the poor and takes in a ton of orphans.  And you better buy me a BOAT!

Birthday, Round 2: Puke Free!

Okay!  I'm totally digging this idea for separate parties!  Now that Sylvia's fast asleep and I didn't poison anyone with my meal (I don't cook much - okay...EVER - and I had to do it all by MYSELF tonight because Sylvain was working, so....I was worried), I can safely say that Birthday Weekend was a success!  In the middle of all that cooking and talking I didn't take many pictures, but here are the ones I do have from tonight's festivities.

Tearing open the first gifts from us - some new dress up clothes that are NOT princesses.  Not that there's anything wrong with princesses, but she has a jillion dresses and I thought her dress up bin could use a little balancing.  Luckily, she loved them!

She wanted to be a firefighter as soon as she opened the outfit.  Uncle Jerry would be proud!

I thought it was funny watching a Fire Chief blow out birthday candles!  How cute is that princess cake from Grammy?

She checked everyone's temperature and gave us all shots.  She was one busy doctor!

And that's it!  It was wonderful to see the grandparents and she got some adorable presents from everyone.  A doll house, a *new* soccer ball, some French fairy tales, and a princess folding chair!  I'll be back tomorrow as I try to put into words what it's like to see my sweet girl turn three.  It's bizarre and beautiful and bewildering all at the same time!  Happy Birthday, Sylvia!

Birthday, Round 1

Sylvia turns three on Monday - THREE, people, THREE!  So, since this is only the third time I've planned a kid's birthday party, I think it's safe to say I still have no clue what I'm doing.  However, I am learning and I'm pretty happy with the way things are turning out, not counting the car puke.  I'll get to that in a minute. 

We decided to do two things differently this year. 
1.  Have her party at the beginning of my spring break instead of the end, so I wouldn't spend a week trying to get all Martha up in here and thoroughly disappointing myself.
2.  Have a separate and SMALL friend party so I don't have a house full of people to look after.  We decided to stick to the "invite as many friends as your age rule."  Just another attempt to keep the total number of bodies in this house to a minimum!  We might have to rethink this rule when she turns 16. 

So far, I'm very glad we did both of these things.  I was still up until midnight last night doing all the things I thought wouldn't take very long, but oh well.  All of my plans were EASY and I actually had time to sit down for a few minutes before guests showed up.  The party was a hit, everyone had fun, and both girls took a nice, long afternoon nap, (so I did, too)!  Here are the pics:

Sylvia waited patiently for her friends.

Baby Claire (who's not a baby anymore!) had no problem keeping up with the big kids.

Okay, so maybe I made some Martha pom poms, but they were super easy.

AJ was digging his heart shaped ring pop!

Margot's all dolled up for big sister's party!

Minnie Mouse dress from Brooklyn.

Hugs for Charlie - thanks for the Rapunzel doll!  (She's sleeping with it at this very moment!)

The Princess Bike.  I could write a whole post on it.  Let's just say it's her dream come true and leave it at that.  She is one happy kid!

Steering practice.

We took a break from biking to hunt for treasures in the backyard.  When you're three, every rock is a treasure.

Lighting the candles on her princess cupcakes.

"Happy Birthday to Sylviaaaaa!"

It took them forever to blow them all out!

Stuffing our faces.  Those cupcakes were g.o.o.d!

He loves my ladies.

This is the best we could do with the grandkids.  They aren't all looking at the camera, but they aren't crying either.  Good enough!

Now, the party was great and everyone had fun and everyone took naps and all was right with the world.  Sylvia woke up from her nap complaining of a belly ache, but what else is new?  She complains that her belly hurts every. single. DAY!  All day long.  "My beeeeeelllllly hurts."  Okay.  Usually, to counteract the whining and complaining, we need to get out of the house, so we decided to take some books back to the library.  On the way home, Sylvia was reading her new library book in the back seat and WHAM!  Out of nowhere she starts projectile vomiting all over the inside of the car, the back of Sylvain's neck and the pages of her book.  Awesome.  It was then that I realized she had eaten nothing but potato chips and cupcakes for the last six hours.  Epic. Parent. Fail!  I felt terrible for the poor girl!  I started yelling at Sylvain to pull over, even though we were two minutes away from our house.  All I wanted to do was hold her and pet her hair and tell her it was going to be okay!  She cried because...well, because she was covered in puke, and we changed her clothes on the side of the road.  I knew she felt better immediately, but I was very concerned about the lack of any food at all in her belly!  I made her some toast when we got home, we snuggled on the couch for a few minutes, and she ate all of her dinner without any problems, so I think it's safe to say she's better.
Tomorrow we have the Family Party.  Just grandparents, cake and ice cream!  Here's to hoping she doesn't wake up with a fever, or an ear infection, or a disease caused by eating too many cupcakes!