The Waiting Game

Oh, here we go.  I'm 39 weeks and one day pregnant!  I have no idea why my ticker says I have 35 days to go, but I promise you, I don't.  We're down to the final week and this is the point where the prospect of labor can really mess with my head.  Last time, it was just the two of us, spending every last minute enjoying our time together, but secretly, desperately wanting our baby girl to be here.  This time is similar, but a little bit different.

I'm starting to notice how easy it is to take care of Sylvia.  We can run around town together without having to pack much in a diaper bag, and most of the time, I just leave it in the car anyway.  I don't have to tote her around.  I just have to get her out of the car seat and help her get her two little feet on the ground, then we're off!  It won't be this easy again for a long time.  So, for the last few days, I've really tried to relish having one little hand around my finger, sauntering through the parking lots, cruising down the aisles at Target or Kroger or wherever we end up. 

We went out to eat tonight as a family of three and I just stared at her, chowing down on her grilled cheese sandwich, talking about Thomas and Percy and Mommy and Daddy and "Boo boo all behhhhh-ter!"  She's so much fun to listen to and so much fun to have around!  I'm really glad we get this special time together before the baby comes.  I'm SO glad we've had a few weeks to ourselves, to give Sylvia all the love and attention we can possibly pile on, before our world gets rearranged once again.

While I'm relishing these sweet little moments as a mother of one, I start to feel the baby move, or I go to put something away in her room, or I see her car seat set up and ready to go...and I get so incredibly excited!  I'm so ready to see her.  I want to know that she's okay and that she wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her.  I see a little baby in a carrier while we're out and about, and I get goosebumps thinking about having a teeny tiny one again.  It's definitely mixed with nerves - the thought of a newborn in the house still scares me to death - but I think that'll go away once I actually lay eyes on this child and see her in our house.

For the last two nights, Sylvia has gone to bed at 8:00, but she's laid there and talked herself to sleep, staying up until 9:00 or 9:30, which is INSANE!  I'm not going to do a thing about it, though, because she's slept until 8:30 in the morning, which means Sylvain and I have been getting upwards of TEN hours of sleep a night!  Can you believe that?  It's amazing how well-rested and prepared I feel right now.  I wake up every morning thinking "Today could be the day!" and I go to bed every night thinking, "Tonight could be the night!" and when it's not, it doesn't matter, because I get to hang out with Sylvia all day.  I'm much more calm and relaxed about the whole thing this time around.  If it happens tonight, great!  But if not, that's okay, too.  Because I do love being Sylvia's Mom, and I do love being pregnant.  We'll just keep waiting patiently until baby girl is good and ready!