Oh My Blog, How I've Missed You!

(No, I'm not pregnant, I just decided to wear a shapeless curtain of a dress!)

Well, we're finally back from the sunny Bahamas, and I have so much to blog about! The time between moving and flying was filled with household chores, trips to Lexington, and a portfolio freakout, but that's no fun to talk about, so the first couple weeks of June are non-bloggable. However, this past week has been quite a whirlwind of relaxation time, exploration time, and fun family gatherings. I'll try to condense....

We landed in Nassau and promptly made our way to "The Riu," our hotel on Paradise Island in the Bahamas. The lobby was gorgeous and as soon as we checked in, they strapped a band around our wrists to display our "all-inclusiveness" to the bartenders and service staff. We spent the first evening experimenting with the drinks we could order: Rumrunner? - no problem, Pina Colada? - coming right up, "What kind of beer do you have?" ("Budweiser or Kalik") - hmmm, "What kind of wine do you have?" ("Red or white") - WHAT KIND OF A PLACE IS THIS!!! Yes, my friends, I spent four days drinking a non-identifiable "red" wine that tasted like rubbing alcohol, but gosh darnit - it was "included" and my parents were happy, so I sucked it up.

After a day and a half in "make-believe land" where the beaches are beautiful, the food is plentiful and the sugary drinks can last all day (without making you drunk no matter how hard you try,) Chud and I ventured out into the very real town of Nassau. Granted, we still did the "touresty" things, but gosh darnit, we paid for it, and that felt kind of nice.

We saw Fort Charlotte (the fort built to protect the Bahamas that never actually fired a shot)...

AND I got to dance with real freaking flamingos at the Zoo (Ardastra Gardens)...




Mom decided she wanted the whole family to go snorkeling as well, and aside from the tremendous panic attack that ensued when I put my mask on and jumped into the water, (I believe my exact words to all seven of my family members who were trying to help me as I clutched the life raft were, "GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!") that was a pretty darn good time. We saw lots of colorful fish that were impossible to catch with my bare hands, we saw an enormous lobster, and there was a rogue jellyfish or two that kept popping up in my mask's view. Needless to say, I made my way back to the ship with no pictures and a mild sense of achievement for not having lost my life on the open sea. Rumrunner, anyone?? Here's a pic of Jordan on the snorkeling trip, in his one and only purchase - a Bahamas trucker's cap (Mom was beside herself in shame)...


On Monday night, all of us kids decided we would go out for a night on the town at Senior Frogs. Has anyone ever heard of these bars?? Apparently they are in every touristy hot spot in the world and they are the ultimate place to "throw down" when you're on vacation (or at least that's what my brother Matt said and we all believed him). We went to this hellhole of an excuse for drinking where we discovered there was Kareaoke! Well, you know me - I hopped on stage with a beer in my hand and Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" playing in the background when an 18 year old drunk-as-a-skunk frat boy decided it would be a good idea to hop on stage with me. Apparently he thought that if he dry humped me enough, I wouldn't notice the gallons of sweat pouring off of him and staining his Ralph Lauren polo shirt. As he was knocking me off the stage with his pelvis, I yelled in the microphone for my sister, who promplty hopped on stage as well and tried to dance with him while I finished my song. Ahhh....vacation.

After a couple days of excursions, our trip was almost over and Chud and I were happy to resign to the fat, rich, white person mentality of drinking by the pool....



Chud made this insightful comment: "It's just like drinking in a regular bar, expect my butt's wet."
So, we took our Rumrunners and Pina Coladas and Mago Daquiris (and one special night, even our Champagne!) to the beach and had a dandy ol' time...


Despite our discontent over the economic situation of the inhabitants of the islands, despite our disgust for fat, rich, white people and their touristy ways (at least we didn't stay next door at Atlantis - yipes!) we managed to have an amazing time in the land of clear waters and sunny skies!

(that's Chud Muffin and Jordo out there in the surf!)

We let ourselves get kissed by birds:

We laughed as Jay smoked a stogie with "the boys"...

We indulged Mom whenever she said, "Gimmie the rock!"...

And we had a wonderful time!

P.S. Chud's Mom was married yesterday at the Lanier Days Civil War Re-enactment. As soon as I have pictures, I'll blog about it - I PROMISE!!