Saturday, March 22, 2008

Wedding Regrets

When Chud and I got married, everything was perfect....almost. Considering the amount of money my parents and his parents spent on the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, and gifts, it was an amazing event. But now that I look back on it all, I realize there are a couple of minor changes I would have made. I say "a couple" because, in fact, there are only two. Out of our entire year-long planning process, our entire evening event, there are only two things I would have changed, and neither of them are important enough to be upset over.

First of all, we told our minister that our favorite bible verse was the one about "Love not in words, but in action and in truth." (1 John 3:28) During our marriage counseling, we tried to make it clear that this was the motto of our lives, the credence by which we live. I told Dr. Holdren that since it's such a small bible verse, we didn't want a whole reading out of it, we just wanted him to mention the importance of GIVING, not receiving, love and charity. He never did.

Second, I'm a big fan of Wendell Berry, a local Kentucky poet, farmer, and essayist. During our counseling, I gave Dr. Holdren a copy of my absolute favorite Wendell Berry poem, that I hoped he would have at least referenced during his sermon. He never did, and I never noticed until weeks after the wedding, when we watched the ceremony. So, since it was never brought up during our special event, I just wanted to record the signifigance of "The Wild Rose" in our lives today. Here's the poem:


Sometimes hidden from me
In daily custom and in trust,
So that I live by you unaware
As by the beating of my heart.

Suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,

and once again I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.

I just think it's very important for any married couple to realize that no matter how "in love" you are at any moment, you always have a daily CHOICE. Every day I wake up and decide effortlessly that S. is the person I want to be with always. And I decide every day to make him happy in some small, little way. I hope that he wakes up every day chosing to be with me - to make me happy in some small way as well. Even though we were "meant to be together," there is still an element of free will - every day. I consider all of the people I've ever met, all the men I've ever dated, all of the fathers I've ever known. And every day I wake up and say, "Thank God I'm with him. He's the other half of my soul."

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. I feel like we have so much to learn about each other, we have so much to teach each other, and we have so much to experience together that I couldn't imagine doing it all with anyone else. We both want the same thing out of life - to love and to share our love with the rest of the world.

1 comment:

Meredith said...

You are so sweet! What a lucky husband you have.

I wish I could say I would only change "a couple" of things from my wedding - you haven given me a great post idea.