Saturday, September 22, 2012

Three Months

Dear Margot,

You are a three month old little lady!  To be honest, I've been dying for the three month point to arrive.  I knew it would find you calmer and happier than you were a month ago.  Sure enough, you're one happy baby!  You're finally starting to figure out how to get yourself to sleep, although sometimes you still need a little help from us.  You are smiling and cooing and showing us all kinds of sweet baby love these days!  We're all in heaven.

Our next hurdle to tackle is that darn bottle!  Listen, babe.  I have to go back to work next week, so it really would be in your best interest for you to start drinking from a bottle.  I know that you hate it.  You hate every bottle we've tried to give you.  A tiny, secret little part of me loves that you're so attached to me and that you prefer to nurse.  It gives me a little bit of satisfaction to know that at least we're getting that right! The rest of me is really trying to care about the bottle and get you to take it.

While we're on the subject, let's talk about school.  We have five more days together before Mama goes back to work.  I was thinking about that last night while I was putting you to bed and it breaks my heart to know that you'll be spending most of your day with someone else and coming home to me at night.  Our bedtime nursing sessions are my favorite, but I'm sure they'll become even sweeter and longer once school starts. 

But here's the thing.  I know you're teeny tiny, and I know that TONS of mothers and babies go through this and I know you'll be just FINE.  So, just in case you're not fine and you can't really tell me (because you're teeny tiny, remember?), I want to write down lots of words of encouragement and love for you (or maybe for me?) in this letter.  Here it goes:

We love you.  Daddy's going to take you and Sylvia to school every morning, and I'll stand in the driveway and wave goodbye as my entire heart goes driving away in one car.  I'll probably cry when you leave, but then I'll be super busy and the rest of my day will fly by.  YOU will not cry as you leave, you'll hopefully be asleep or close to it.  You might start to cry when you get to school, and you wake up and you realize that you've never been here before and you haven't seen your Mama in a while.  I didn't leave you.  Don't freak out.  I'm just in another place for a little while and I'll see you again soon.  Daddy is right down the hall and Sylvia will be with you ALL DAY!  You'll get to see her smiling face whenever you get sad or scared.  So please be okay.  Please know that the folks taking care of you are sweet and kind and wonderful, even if they're not Mama.  Please know that I will think about you every single second of every single day and I'll send the ladies at school LOTS of text messages asking about you!  Since they are awesome, they'll send me pictures.  Hopefully ones of you smiling.  It's going to be okay.  We're all going to be okay.  We love you.

Also, one more thing about the fact that you've been alive for three months - Sylvia.  I think the two of you already have some secret you're not telling me.  I can see it in your face when you look at her.  Your face already says, "I know!  Should we tell her?  No?  Okay...hehe."  That's cool.  I'm glad you guys are connecting and bonding and building the world's greatest relationship.  I can't think of a better person for you to love most right now.  But let me remind you that she tried to drag you across the floor by your feet, so you might not want to trust her too much, at least not while she's a two-year-old.  Someday the two of you can help each other make good choices, but for now, watch your back.  She's sneaky!

All of my love, sweet Muffin.  You're the greatest baby in the history of the world, ever!  Good luck at school.


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