Christmas Time's A Comin'!

Oh, here it is! We had the best weekend ever and I'm finally stoked about Christmas. It's my favorite time of year and if it were up to me, the radio would play Christmas music all ---- year ---- long.

Yesterday I went to Emily's jewelry party and let me tell you, the "Blingtini's" were fantastic! Her house was decked out in the stylish ways of Chirstmas that only Emily can capture and I bought three pieces, as if I didn't have enough already. Merry Christmas to me! Then we had dinner with Laura and Pete, who are always lovely company. Good times with good friends. It's days like that when I wish we were still in Lexington. I could have stayed at Emily's and played games all night long. *sigh*

Alas, we came back to Louisville last night and I had the best night's sleep I had in a long time. How do I know? I did more "stuff" today than I've done on a Sunday in a long time. In a nutshell, my day went like this: shower, church, start a pot roast, shopping shopping shopping shopping shopping (five stores total), wrapping wrapping wrapping wrapping wrapping wrapping (that's right, people, I did 90% of my shopping and wrapping in ONE DAY), eat pot roast, wash dishes, make chili for pot luck at school tomorrow...I did it ALL! And it feels GOOD. I even cleaned out my "christmas trunk" filled with gifts never given or gifts waiting to be re-gifted so I could take them all to school to give to my kids - that's how much junk I had in there. Ahhh. Success.

Next week we head north to Mom's house to celebrate the holidays with family and I can't WAIT! After we see everyone and hug everyone and laugh with everyone, Chud and I are heading to Charleston, South Carolina to celebrate our anniversary. Two years! And happier than ever, I might add.

Oh, The Things They Will Say!

I've been working with D all year on appropriate language and behavior. Thanks to our hard work, he has stopped hitting me, knocking things over, and cussing. He's been wildly successful lately, so you can imagine my surprise when he approached me today and said....

D: Mrs. Fasciotto, I need a new hooker.
Me: (audible gasp) D! We do NOT say that word in school.
D: But....I need HOOKER! (other kids laugh)
Me: (pulling him to the side) D, that may be the way some people talk at home, but we do not talk like that at school. (long pause) Wait. What are you talking about?
D: (clearly frustrated) Mrs. Fasciotto, I need me a new hooker! (as he shoves a paper clip in my face)

Holding back tears of laughter I look directly at him and say, "D, we call that a paper clip." I give him a new one, he goes back to his group, and they finish their science investigation.

I do love fourth graders.

Thank God for Little Girls

This has been the best and worst week of my teaching career. Yesterday I left school looking for the nearest WalMart that was hiring. That's right, people. I was ready to go work at WalMart. I almost called my prinicpal to say "I'm done. Find somebody else. I'm miserable and I don't deserve this." I was dreading going to my classroom today. I cried all the way there.

I have some very challenging students this year, in particular, some very troubling boys. Yesterday, two of them were back from a five day suspension after getting in a fist fight, and they brought their wrath down on all of us. Yesterday, my classroom was a place where no one learned a thing and no one wanted to be there. I was nagging, mean - just the most horrid teacher you've ever seen. By the end of the day, the only way I could fight back the tears was to yell and scream and shake - I even pulled a muscle in my neck because I was so tense. The sound that came out of my mouth was unlike any sound I've ever heard. If my principal had been there, I'd surely be without a job at the moment. It was the lowest I've ever sunk. Just terrible.

After a much needed pep talk from a fellow teacher last night, I got to school nice and early today. I prepared lots of new behavior charts and systems, put in place some new rewards, changed a few procedures to make the day run more smoothly. But I was terrified of picking up my kids at 8:55. I wasn't sure I could look at them without crying. But I bucked up and showed up to the bus room with a smile plastered on my face. I forced myself to say good morning to every one of them, like I do every day, and I led them upstairs. As I was sitting at my desk, one of my little girls came up to me and said, "Mrs. F, I have a present for you!" Determined to change my attitude and have a good day, I smiled at her and said, "Oh goody! What is it?" instead of "Not now, you have work to do."

This little girl is one of those who does everything she can to impress her teacher. She shows up every day with finger curls in her hair, a smile on her face, and warmth in her heart. She makes a point to say nice things to everyone at her table before the day starts. She hugs all her friends at the end of the day. She's just the sweetest thing you've ever seen. She told me to close my eyes and hold out my hands. She placed something small and jingly in my palm. I kept my eyes closed and shook it next to my ear to guess what it could be. I opened my eyes to see a small, silver ring covered in green and red jingle bells. It fit perfectly on my index finger and it jingled whenever I moved my hand. I don't know why, but when I put it on, all of my troubles just melted away and I was reminded that kids are good. Kids are sweet. Kids are full of love and capable of real sentiment. With that tiny gift, my attitude and my heart did a total 180 degree turn from where I was before. I would go so far as to say, that pretty little girl saved my career.

Our day was still a challenge. I still have boys that would sooner scream obscenities at each other and run out of the room before talking about their feelings. I still have kids who can't handle working in groups and I still spent most of my morning dealing with misbehavior. But today I made a commitment to pay attention to those kids that are making the right choices. I was determined to give compliments instead of "constructive criticism" (because that would be nagging and pointless). I forced myself to smile and it worked. When you smile at kids, they smile back. My kids rocked it out this afternoon. I know it's a direct result of my decision to love them whether they liked it or not. By the end of the day, we were all smiling. And it warmed my heart.

I didn't know it at the time, but that little girl must have been the reason I went to school today.

Thanks, Shante!

The Sunday Blues

We're back from a long weekend at home for Thanksgiving and it's rainy, cold and gross outside. We had such a wonderful time seeing all sides of the family, relaxing at Mom's house, eating good food and watching lots of uninterrupted sports. In a word, it was blissful.

However, now that we're home, we have laundry to do, lesson plans to write, dinner to figure out and I have to say, it just makes us both feel....blech. Sundays are always hard, and I don't think it's just for teachers. Gearing up for another week at a stressful job where you never get everything done that needs to get done is quite a hassle and it weighs heavy on our minds on Sunday nights. So much so that tonight...we surfed the internet for other jobs! Agh!

Don't get me wrong, we love teaching. But as we plan for the future and the possibility of children down the road, it's hard to imagine being a great teacher AND a great parent. I submit that it cannot be done. And rather than be a half-ass teacher and a half-ass parent, I'd rather find another job that is conducive to raising kids. One where I don't have to grade papers all night and organize lesson plans on Sundays. A 9 - 5er with no committees to be on or newsletters to write. Wouldn't that be nice?

Who am I kidding? Maybe Chud could be happy at a desk, but I certainly could not. If I'm not going to be a classroom teacher, I have to be involved in the world of education somehow. A writing specialist once told me that being a writing specialist in an elementary school allowed her to be a better mom. She didn't have a classroom to take care of, she didn't have to do all the extra things that classroom teachers have to do. So, I went searching for some sort of "specialist position" on the internet tonight, despite my adament cry of "I'll never leave the classroom!" Wouldn't you know...the Kentucky Department of Education is looking for an "Education Academic Program Consultant in Elementary WRITING." Gasp!! This person would work for the state, travel to school districts and help teachers teach WRITING. I meet all of the minimum requirements AND I even meet one of the "preferred" requirements - being a Writing Project Fellow. I basked in the glow of a state job without a classroom attached, until I realized that it would be just as much, if not more, work. Ah well. A girl can dream.

For the time being, Chud and I are going to drudge through these horrendous three weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The weeks which are useless to a nine year old and might evoke mutany in a high school. We'll make it through the rest of the year, and the endless Sunday nights, until we find something better that makes us both a little happier. PhD program? Perhaps. Cushy State Job? Maybe. But for now we have to be content with out little corner of the teaching world - a sometimes thankless, always demanding, but never a dull moment job.

The Peace Keeper

Who's that, hiding behind the front window curtain? Whose furry bum is peeking out from underneath?

Why, it's the shy but ever vigilant guard cat, Brown Audrey!

There she sits, day after day, watching over the goings-on of Mina Court, looking out for the girl in the blue car and they boy in the black car, making sure that everyone makes it home, safe and sound. Just enough face showing to keep an eye on things, but not enough for anyone to notice that she's there.

What a good kitty!

A Teacher's Confession

Please don't tell anyone, but I have a confession to make. I'm not a very good reader. It's true. I faked my way through most books in high school and college. It's easy if you know where to go. I abandon about 80% of the adult books I try to read. Perhaps it's because I'm a slow reader - trying to fully absorb every word before moving on to the next sentence. Perhaps it's because I have a short attention span - long, dramatic storylines with intricate symbolisms and social undertones bore the heck out of me! Most of the "must reads" that I inherit from friends (i.e. The Time Traveller's Wife and The Secret Life of Bees) just pile up on my bedside. I'm lucky to read more than a chapter or two before tossing them aside and picking up something else.

I do love Children's books, though. Recently I've rediscovered the amazing talent of Natalie Babbit in Tuck Everlasting. I always marvel at the craftiness of Cynthia Rylant and Eve Bunting in their numerous picture books. I've also fallen in love with Jerry Spinelli's Milkweed, which I firmly believe every adult should read. In fact, my list of kid's books that should be read by adults is quite extensive. But when I stand in front of the best-seller table at Barnes and Noble, I feel desperately inadequate.

Having made my confession, I would also like you to know that every once in a blue moon I stumble upon an adult book that I can't put down. The first one was The Awakening which will always be my all-time favorite word feast. There have been others, on occasion. At the moment, I find myself sitting home on a Friday night, husband asleep on the couch, third glass of wine in hand, praying for the clock to slow down so I can keep reading my book without being completely exhausted tomorrow. It's an unlikely book for me to love. I've tried reading this author before and found him very uninteresting. However, tonight I am glued to the pages of Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. It's strange and it's slow - it took me a few weeks to really get into it. But I just started the "Third Book" and I have to tell you, I'm completely enthralled with his style of writing. I know I'm in the middle of a good book when I picture the author at their desk, spewing out words onto paper or screen, ideas swirling around their head. I find myself in awe of his talent. How does he know all of this history? How does he put the pieces of this story together out of thin air? What an amazing writer he must be. I would love to sit down and talk to him sometime!

Now that my reading confession is off my chest, I can finally sift through the reasons why I like this book and not others. I must be attracted to his particular writing style. As much as I struggle with the concept of "reading" and being "well-read" and "smart," the one thing I do love more than anything in this world is writing. That must be why I'm blogging right now instead of reading the next chapter.

I overhead a teacher say to one of MY students yesterday, as she grabbed a book from their hands and started reading the back cover, "Oh! Do you like this book? I love books. I'm a HUGE reader. I read everything. You'll have to tell me how it is. I'll probably read it soon anyway." I thought, are you kidding?? No one's buying that crap! I don't read much, but I do know that you can't read EVERYTHING. Don't patronize my kids. They're smarter than you.

I'd like to think that my kids are like me (a lofty and conceited thought, I know). But they're not going to read crap they don't like. I'll let them abandon book after book after book as long as they finally come to rest on one, good, solid, decent piece of writing that they LOVE. And then, after they read it, maybe they can picture themselves doing something like it and opening a notebook (or a blog) and writing something. Isn't that what good readers do?



p.s. make that a FOURTH glass of wine at hand - it's Friday. I'm a nerd.

A Good Day

Well, I can't get through tonight without blogging a bit about last night and today. I stayed up late to watch the election results and, like 52% of Americans, I was deeply moved and satisfied with the outcome! I remember when Obama gave a speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. I'd never heard of him before, but I immediately fell in love with him, which I've never done with a politician before. He has a way of moving me. Chud bought me his book "The Audacity of Hope" for Christmas, and after the first couple chapters, I thought, "Hmm. He might be on to something here."

Through the primaries I held out hope that we might, we just very well might nominate an intelligent, hard working, community organizing black man for president. Wouldn't that just be a thrill!

Then, last night, I clutched the pillows on the couch and had flashbacks of John Kerry's election when I was so SURE he would win and then he didn't. I didn't want to get my hopes up, even though everyone was saying he was a sure shot. I waited for the numbers. At 11:00, when it was "called" by the media, I could hardly contain myself.

I know lots of republicans and I immediately thought of them. I don't care what party you belong to, I don't think anyone could help but feel proud and special as we watched the coverage last night. And I'd like to take a minute to say that I thought John McCain's speech was one of the most gracious, eloquent and beautiful speeches I've ever heard. I completely changed my mind about him last night. He does put country first. Good for him.

We talked about the election in my classroom last week. Nine year olds have quite an interesting perspecitve on the whole thing. They instinctively knew that voting for Obama because he's black is not exactly right. But they also knew that Obama promised change for them and their families. They knew that he went to law school, that he worked to change the South side of Chicago, and that he is smart, well-spoken and hopeful.

I think what I love most about this election is the implications for my students. I have a classroom full of African American boys, some of which have no fathers. These boys look up to football players and rap stars. To them, life if about making money, getting on top, being famous. And now they have a president to look up to. I know that being president is about as likely as being a football player, but Obama shows them that anything is possible. That you can have GOOD CHARACTER. You can be a lawyer, a doctor, a businessman, an organizer...a president. They now see that they can be anything. I'm so hopeful for them.

When we had our morning meeting today, I almost cried. I pictured my boys (and girls) as grown ups, as young men and women, as citizens. They are dying to be old enough to vote. They are interested in Obama and what he can do. The hope in their eyes just melted my heart and I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of them. Today their future looked a little bit brighter. A door has been opened. The possibilities are endless.

Good bless America!