Getting Babies to Bed

I found this post in my drafts and it never got published.  It's almost a year old and I'm happy to report that my kids are now great sleepers.  Margot still asks four thousand questions before bed and Albert still wakes up and fusses a few times a night, but the important thing is MAMA is getting plenty of sleep these days!  This was fun to read again and I wanted to post it - better late than never!

I read Jen's post on Sleep tonight and I was inspired to post about our own battles and triumphs with baby sleep.  I am obsessed with the topic of sleep, perhaps because it's such a luxury for myself these days, but I also want to document our own journey through three babies.  I truly believe that all of our family's health and happiness revolves around sleep.  I also believe that there is something special about walking around in the evenings while kids are sleeping....something sacred about just....being....after all of the kids have gone to bed.

There's the peace and quiet, of course, but there's also a sense of such safety and responsibility.  I tend to pat myself on the back every night while I pick up toys and run the dishwasher, toss towels into the hamper and pull in the picnic blanket from the front yard.  These three tiny bodies are safe and sound, asleep and happy, because I made them that way!  I trained them that way.  I put in the hours of routines - baths, jammies, snacks, teeth brushing, allergy meds, vitamins, the nightly hunt for dou-dou bear who is NEVER EVER EVER where he is supposed to be, bedtime stories, and more stories, and now listening to Sylvia read her own stories, lullabies, prayers, four THOUSAND questions (Mommy?  Are you going to school tomorrow?  Mommy?  Where's Daddy?  Mommy?  Can I have a donut?  Mommy?  What does "spy" mean?  Mommy? I need another hug and a kiss.  Mommy?  My friends aren't tucked in!  Mommy?  Is it my birthday?  Mommy?  I want to be the pink doggy!  Mommy?  Mommy?  Mommy?  Mommy?)

My almost 3 year old and my 5 year old have completely surrendered to the bedtime routine.  When we went to France, I was able to put them to bed any time, anywhere (except the airplane), because if you followed the right pattern, their brains would totally switch off and they'd sleep all night long.

But the baby...

Ohhhhhh, the babies.....

There is nothing more difficult than getting a baby to sleep.  Nothing.  And there's nothing more infuriating, humbling, and emotionally draining than listening to a baby cry in the middle of the night.  It is pure torture.  And it's even worse when there are older siblings in the house who have been properly sleep trained and who MIGHT WAKE UP if the baby keeps crying and then all hell will break loose because you have to do the whole routine again in the middle of the damn night.  As a nursing Mom, this problem is compounded because running upstairs to nurse the baby back to sleep is SO EASY but also so annoying and sometimes it was just downright impossible.  This is where new mamas lose their minds.

I remember, with all three of my kids, the breaking point.  There was always a night where I had already been up at least two times, and when the baby started crying again, for the third or fourth time, less than an hour after I last fed them....I just laid in bed and cried.  I cried:  Go to sleep!  Just go back to sleep.  I can't go up there again.  I can't get out of this bed.  I can't listen to you cry anymore but I can't physically move from under these covers and so I might as well just die.  I'll die right here listening to you cry.  I'll be on the news because I'm the world's worst mother who died while she listened to her perfectly healthy baby cry.  And you'll never leave your therapist's office because you'll know that your mother died listening to you cry.  So for the love of Jesus, just go back to sleep.  Just sleep.  Please sleep.   

For my first baby, this only happened once.  My husband and I worked hard, as a team, to make sure it didn't happen again.  We let her cry it out.  She wailed for many nights, but she figured it out.  She was sleeping through the night by six months.

For my second baby, it took so much longer.  We were so worried about the older sister.  I used quite a few sick days to catch up on lost sleep after going to her room again and again, trying to soothe her but always popping the boob in her mouth to just get her to stay quiet.  I ended up getting used to the multiple night feedings.  I decided it was easier to just run upstairs and nurse her than to listen to her cry.  My husband's job required a lot from him, and he took our oldest along to a daycare in the same building, so I didn't rely on him in the middle of the night at all.  I just nursed.  All night long.  I became a zombie, but somewhere between 6 and 9 months old, she started sleeping for longer stretches, every once in a while she'd sleep all night long, and then suddenly I realized that I had achieved a string of three or four nights of solid sleep myself.  Life became sunshine and rainbows again and we immediately decided to have another baby.

This third baby.....bless the boy.  He is the world's happiest, least managed, most satisfied baby.  I can confidently say, at 11 months old, that I will not die of sleep deprivation because he is FINALLY sleeping through the night.  My husband was much more available in the middle of the night this time around, but I still didn't sleep.  After the breaking point with this one, my husband would go upstairs in between feedings to rock, pat, sing and soothe him to sleep, but once the four-hour mark had passed I'd just run up there and nurse him.  I knew when he was six months old that he would be our last baby...that I just can't do this again.  That all of this sleep training is too hard on me and is therefore too hard on our whole family.  Like the second baby, he started sleeping for longer stretches at night.  I started ignoring the "fussing" and started to wait for the real crying, but lately, the fussing finds an end and he goes right back to sleep.  Precious boy.  There is nothing more beautiful than a sleeping baby, but only because the opposite of a sleeping baby is a screaming baby, so a sleeping baby is amazing.

And now, here I sit.  With three sleeping babies.  Five years of hard work.  An 11 month old who finally gets it.  An almost 3 year old who naps on command.  A 5 year old who practically puts herself to bed.  I want to travel back in time to visit myself in December.  I want to give a hug to myself while I was baking lactation cookies at 10:00 at night and shaking because I was so scared the baby was going to wake up before I could get an hour of sleep in.  I want to tell myself that it's going to be okay and that very, very soon I would have three sleeping babies, but it wouldn't have mattered.  You can't gift yourself sleep.  You can't change the fact that losing sleep makes people CRAZY!  All I can do is decide that it was a fun ride while it lasted but now we're ready to work hard, play hard and SLEEP hard at our house!

I will say this - after six years of pregnancy/nursing, I am looking forward to watching my kids grow.  I am looking forward to sleeping all night, playing all day, and getting my brain back to a normal state of being.  I've been an absolute lunatic.  It's a wonder that my husband and children still like me.  It's time to be me again.

Aaaand, it's time to go to bed!

Black Blog Hole

Hi, blog!!  It's been a long time.  I haven't posted since November, so instead of trying to catch up, I'm just going to resign myself to the fact that my blog will have a giant black hole for Christmas, New Year's and the awful, awful winter months of 2015-16.  It happens.  I have photo albums.  I don't think my kids will notice that I didn't write blog posts for these four months.  I will not let myself become paralyzed with the idea that I have to blog about Christmas before I can blog about right now.  So.....here's what happening right now:

BIRTHDAY SEASON has begun!  It's the only thing that keeps me motivated through the dreary, dark, cold months of winter.  Mom's birthday is April 1st, and I have a big post planned because she's turning SIXTY!  Sylvia's birthday is April 8th and this year my sweet, precious, first born child is spending her birthday in France WITHOUT ME and I'm freaking out about it (don't worry, she's going with her Daddy and it will be wonderful - but I'm jealous and a little bit nervous and a lot bit sad because I'd rather be in France with them).  Then there's May with all the fun that May brings, then Margot's birthday is in June and Albert's birthday is in July and I love nothing more than celebrating the days that my kids were born, so get ready for lots of birthday posts. 

We already had Sylvia's kindergarten birthday party at the Cincinnati Observatory and it was AWESOME.  I don't have ANY pictures, but my mother in law took some great ones and posted them here.  The kids played games and ate cake and listened to my cousin, Aaron, teach them about space and telescopes!  They got to see the moon and Jupiter through the giant telescope and their tiny minds were totally BLOWN!  It was so fun. 

This weekend, we celebrate Joyceburg Eiben and I can't wait to post my thoughts about her 60th birthday.  Stay tuned!

Fall Fun (and Halloweeeeeen!)

When Sylvia was born, I really thought long and hard about whether to send her to elementary school where I teach.  Pros: convenience, communication, exposure to diversity.  Cons: "teacher's kid," too much time together, exposure to potential volatile behaviors that would not be an issue in private school.  And of course the money was also an issue.  Then, we moved to Northern Kentucky and I landed a job at the most family friendly school in the country.  My principal loves my kids, but...get this...she loves ALL of the kids as if they were her own.  Our building is a huge FAMILY and many teachers send their kids to school there.  Sylvia gets to be a FALCON where every adult loves her because she is a KID, not because she is my kid.  Everyone will require nothing but her best and everyone will hold her accountable.  I was honored to welcome her into the Falcon family this year and I thoroughly enjoy getting ready together in the mornings, riding to school together, giving her a hug during lunch, and chatting about school all evening after I get home.  I can't believe I ever doubted that this was the best decision for our family!

Grandparent's Night!

But enough about the Big One.  Let's move on.  One of the most amazing and life changing things has happened - ALBERT IS WALKING!  Finally.  And, just like I knew he would, he doesn't slow down for two seconds.  One day he just UPPED AND WALKED, like he'd been doing it his whole life. 

I had a ton of fun visiting with Laura and Emily and meeting the Petersiks again at Books By the Banks!

I've waited a long time to share this movie with Sylvia.  She enjoyed "The Worst Witch" almost as much as my friends and I did back in the day.  Margot loved it, too!  If you haven't seen it, you're missing some spectacular 1980's special effects and some thrilling song lyrics.  Check it out.  You won't regret it.

Margot, Bristol and Sylvia on the train for Jack's birthday!  They had a great time, but I think the moms had a better time...

Sylvia designed her own service project: making beaded bracelets out of pipe cleaners to give to some residents at the nursing home across the street from our school.  I wholeheartedly approved because for one thing, it's good for her heart, but for another thing....she used up all the craft crap that's been lying around our house for months!  Win-win!

 My mom and Jay threw another great Halloween party with hot dogs on the fire, bingo, bobbing for eyeballs and tons of treats and prizes!

 My little dude in overalls gets me every time!  He is so stinking cute and he's starting to really bubble with personality.  He answers questions now and plays jokes on us.  He knows what a dinosaur says and what a kitty cat says, but sometimes we ask, "What's a kitty cat say?" and he screams, "RAAAWWWRRR!" and he CRACKS UP because he knows it's wrong and he things it is just hilarious. He also loves to climb in the closet.  It's a fun trick.

Okay...Margot.  This girl.  She's been seeing Darth Vader everywhere and Sylvain let her check out a Lego Star Wars DVD from the library.  It has 2 twenty-minute episodes that include a silly, bumbling Darth Vader that makes her laugh and laugh.  She has decided that Darth Vader is her very best friend and she begged to be Darth Vader for Halloween.  Move over Hello Kitty!  As a closet Star Wars fanatic, I did not discourage the attraction.  Okay, I may have actively encouraged her a tiny bit.  Sylvia asked her, "Why do you like Darth Vader? He's a BAD guy?" and Margot said, "But Sylvia...Darth Vader is POWERFUL!"  And that pretty much sums up Margot to a T.  

That FACE!

 My class Halloween party was one for the books this year!  Sylvain dropped my three kiddos off so they could party with us.  Fun was had by all!

Rebel fighter, Obi Wan, two Darth Vaders (both girls! yes!!), Princess Leia, Chewbacca

 Here's my Star Wars offspring right before trick-or-treat.  They LOVED their costumes and I could not contain my delight!  There was much squealing.  Baby Yoda?  Tiny Darth Vader?  Bun head Leia?  Forget it.  Cute overload.

TWO baby Yodas!  Johnathan and Albert.  BFF's for LIFE!

The force is strong with this one!

Since Halloween was on a Saturday, we threw a gigantic kid party before, during and after trick-or-treat.  Our house looked like a tornado hit, but MAN did we all have fun!  My aunts from New York came to town for the weekend JUST to see the kids dressed up and having fun.  It was great to see that whole side of the family on such a fun night!

Uncle Kurt and The Carrot Hoarder

The New Yorkers got their baby fix!

Kirt and Dianne brought Baby Everly!

Mamie Brigitte spent the night.

I didn't get any good pictures of all the kids on the couch, but get this: between the Reynolds, the Staubauchs, the Hodges, the Gurleys and the Fasciottos, we had eleven kids under the age of SIX in this house.  It was glorious!

Sylvia finished up her soccer season right before Halloween weekend with TWO GOALS this year!  She's already a million times better at soccer than her Mama.  Her ballet school was very gracious to let us wait until soccer was over before she started back in her ballet class, so she was really excited to go to ballet last week.  The best part?  It's a class for 3-5 year olds, so....Margot gets to go to ballet, too!  To the SAME CLASS!  At the SAME TIME!  With the SAME RECITAL!!  That will likely never happen again, so I'm capitalizing on the opportunity.  Besides, Margot loves ballet and has been chomping at the bit to start.  I was going to wait until she was four, but come on.  You can't beat ballerina sisters!

Finally, I give you my classroom door.  I'm just going to ride this Star Wars train for the rest of the year.  We had a lesson on "The Force," or things you can use to make your year amazing: Friendships, Opinions, Rights, Choices, Energy.  Then, each kid drafted a sentence that started with "I can use the FORCE to..." and they wrote some awesome things!  We have bully fighters, peace makers, leaders, cleaners, organizers....you name it!  They chose their favorite character, wrote down their sentence, and I slapped it on the door.  I traced some lettering and a light saber for the sign, printed a couple small posters and VOILA!  Best door ever.  My favorite one in 12 years of teaching.  

It helps to have an awesome class.  Look at these darling little Falcons!  They won the AR trophy for being spectacular readers.  They are truly spectacular in every way!  I love them to death.  My job is hard, but I get to spend every day with these smiles.  We have way too much fun!

Catching Up

 Holy moly, where does the time go, y'all?!  It's been almost a month since I posted, and I had such grand plans to write more and scrapbook less, but here I am, dumping pictures and captions all over the blog.  We've been so beautifully busy for the last few weeks.  Check out these cute kids...

We love Pride Park.  I took the kids there one evening when it wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold and we neede somewhere free to go.  I always underestimate the amount of time we'll spend there.  Anyway, Albert's big enough for the bouncy toys now, so this happened and my heart fell out of my chest....

We spend a lot of time at Target.  They seem to have everything we could ever want in once place and coffee.  When Albert was a tiny newborn, I put the the girls in the double cart and I put his carrier in the basket, but now he's big enough to ride on the double cart roller coaster, so this is what it usually looks like when we go.

I don't know what happened here, but Margot suddenly looks like a super model.  It was a total fluke, I took about ten pictures of her in this new dress because I wanted my Mom to see it (we had just finished a day of fruitless shopping for kid clothes but I found this on my own):

We took the kids to Neltner's Farm for the annual Pumpkin Patch shenanigans.  They have live bluegrass music all day.  They have a petting zoo.  They have wine by the bottle.  Enough said, right?

Classy.

Our general rule is, you can't take home a pumpkin unless you can carry it yourself.  We made an exception and let Albert pick out Daddy's pumpkin.

Mamie bought the girls some flower crowns and they were in heaven!  It made for some pretty cute pictures!

Every year I have that moment that makes weepy.  This is our "family farm."  It's run by my mom's cousins and my grandma lives up the hill from here.  This tiny corner of Melbourne, KY is a complete and beautiful slice of heaven.  When you stand in the pumpkin patch, you can see my grandmother's church and I always take a deep breath and thank God that Grandma Neltner (GG to my kids) is still in our lives.  The pumpkin patch trip means Christmas is right around the corner and every Christmas we spend at GG's house is a blessing.  I love this opportunity to give thanks for what we've been given and look ahead at what's to come.  

I can't take the sweetness.  What a good Daddy!

So....we went camping a couple weeks ago.  It was an adventure.  First up...surveying the picnic table.  It all checked out.  The kids gave Grandpa the green light to set up shop with his awning, table cloth, tackle box full of cooking supplies, and truck bed garbage can.

Next up...pitching tents!  Look at that perfect camping spot.

I took the kids for a walk around the camp grounds.  It was a beautiful place!

 Our campsite was right across from the swing sets!

Let me tell you something about my dad.  If a kid has wheels, he's going to tie a rope to it.  When Sylvia wanted to ride her scooter around the campgrounds, he was ON IT!  He pulled her up the steep hills and he slowed her down on the way back.  That's one dedicated Grandpa, right there!

A peaceful day beside the lake...

Until we had to go to the hospital with this one:

She fell of the swings and had a gash in the back of her head.   She had to get three staples.  Luckily Jess was there because I almost passed out when they cleaned her gash and put the staples in.

When it was all said and done, Margot wanted to go back to the campsite!  The doctors said we didn't have to restrict her activities as long as we washed her hair that night (we had to wash it once and then we couldn't wash it for FIVE days)! 

 I washed her hair in the campsite showers, put her to bed in her tent........then drove her home when Albert woke up screaming and wouldn't stop.  Camping with a baby is a bad idea.  We were really close to home, though, so I took Albert and Margot home for the night around 11:00, and we came back the next morning to eat breakfast and help pack up.  I wasn't upset because I got to sleep in a real bed.

Last weekend I went to a coworker's wedding.  It was probably the most amazing wedding I've ever seen!  Here's the Ft Wright family getting ready to party hard:

 I had to take a picture of Sylvia's teachers (and Nurse Patti) on the dance floor!  I love these ladies!

 Nurse Patti enjoys "The Flabongo," Autumn (the bride's) signature drink!

The next day, Sylvain and I celebrated my birthday!  I turned 34 while we were at Norris Lake in July, so we didn't get to go out on the town.  We put it off until now and this weather was begging for a date night, so Mom took the kids and we hit some wineries...

Here's what we saw when we came back.  Three princesses (my girls and their cousin) searching for berries.

And finally, there's Willoughby the Cat.  My cousin found him on the street and posted his picture on Facebook.  My heart was stolen, but I'm not the cat person.  I told Sylvain that if he wanted another cat, I would CONSIDER this one....

Within 12 hours we had called her and set up a time for the cat to come to our house.  She would have kept him herself except her big dog was not a fan of cats.  This little darling is litter box trained and might as well be a rag doll.  My kids have pulled, poked, and prodded the poor thing within a inch of his life, but he hasn't fought back once.  He is the most docile, gentile and loving little kitty we could have ever hoped for!  We are smitten with this kitten!

P.S.  Sylvia uses periods when she writes now.  Perhaps too many periods, but she's learning.  Here is her first complete sentence - totally umprompted.  "My costume is going to be a witch."  Melt my heart.