Nursing the Nugget

Tonight I am thankful that I'm able to nurse my Nugget.  I mentioned a while back that I love nursing WAY more than I ever thought I could, and that's still true, but our nursing relationship has changed quite a bit since she was born.  Since I know many, many, many soon-to-be mamas out there, I thought I'd take some time tonight to try and describe the world's greatest feeling.

In the beginning (i.e. the first four months when I was at home), nursing was a no-brainer.  Sylvia latched well, and I loved rocking with her in her room and feeding her whenever she needed it.  Every once in a while I'd venture out into the living room to nurse, when I was feeling feisty, but I've always been content sitting in her room and enjoying that precious space with her...especially when there were other people in our house or other things to do.  Sometimes it felt downright sinful to sneak in there with a hungry baby and close the door.  "Ha ha, world!  You can't get me!  I'm feeding my baby and you can SHOVE IT!"  That was always fun.

Eventually I got up the nerve to nurse her in public.  I love my trusty nursing apron and it really came in handy for the first five months or so.  My Mom was skeptical when I wanted to register for one, but when she and I were shopping at the mall and I sat down on a bench to nurse the nugget, she was convinced - they're another one of those "why didn't I think of it" ideas.  Once I got the hang of it, I was nursing that baby everywhere!  At the mall...at restaurants...pretty much everywhere except for church.  I never got up the nerve to nurse my baby in church.

All of the lovey-dovey nursing hoopla took a serious hit when I went back to work.  A working, nursing Mama means PUMPING.  I hate pumping.  It's pretty much the world's most awful thing and I hate it.  Sylvain says I look like a milk-making robot and Mom says I look like a dairy cow.  My coworkers can't figure out why I would lock my classroom door in the middle of the day (gasp!) and one of them actually UNLOCKED it so they could barge in and deliver something.  I had to get very comfortable with "going topless" for twenty minutes a day.  For the first three months of the school year, I was pumping THREE TIMES a day!  Sylvia was sucking down bottles at daycare like it was her job and I felt like I had to keep up with her.  I pumped at planning, I pumped as soon as school let out, and depending on how much she ate that day, there were times where I pumped before I went to bed at night.  Luckily, I had a pretty good stash of frozen milk, so on nights where I was too exhausted to pump, I could grab one of those.  Then, she hit six and a half months old, and everything changed again.

A couple weeks ago, Sylvia decided that she's just too busy to lay in my lap and nurse.  She's been taking bottles so frequently at day care that she wasn't interested in feeding from the boring old breast anymore!  I started supplementing with formula and OH MY GOSH IT WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER!  Suddenly I was freed of the shackles of pumping.  Once Sylvia started taking formula, I could go back to nursing her when we both actually enjoyed it.  I still pump during planning, which isn't too bad at all because I have plenty of time and I can eat or work on the computer while I do it.  When she's really tired or groggy, she has no problem nursing, so currently our schedule looks something like this: I nurse her first thing in the morning when she wakes up.  She eats a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast at day care.  She drinks a bottle of breast milk.  She eats a bowl of rice cereal and veggies.  She drinks two bottles of formula in the afternoons.  She eats rice cereal and veggies at home for dinner, sometimes she has another small bottle of formula if she needs it.  She nurses before bed.  The milk I pump during planning is her first and only bottle of breast milk during the day.

I was really nervous about this new routine, but now that we've done it for two weeks I absolutely love it.  I have the best of both worlds!  She'll eat a bottle of ANYTHING and she'll eat any vegetable as long as it's mixed with a little bit of cereal.  I'm sitting in the middle of one of those rare time-frames where everything seems to be working well.  All of my spinning plates are in the air and they haven't shattered on the floor yet.  I'm sure that soon we'll have to change our nursing relationship again, but I'm so thankful that she's still nursing twice a day without any resistance.  I cherish each and every ride in the rocker that we have because I know our days are numbered.  However, now that she's taking formula, Sylvain gets to feed her a lot more often than he used to and he loves it.  So does she.  At the moment, all is right with our nursing world!

A Nugget's Voice

As I mentioned in her four month letter, Sylvia has really found her voice.  I think it's the cutest babble on the planet and I could listen to it all day long.  Correction, I DO listen to it all day long, and it's glorious! 

This is another video that Sylvain recorded while I was setting up my classroom.  I decided that after this week, he (again) wins the husband of the year award, especially in the category of breastfeeding support.  Not only is he very good at warming up and giving her bottles, but today he brought her to school at lunch so I could feed her instead of pumping.  Then, when I was leaving school, I called him and he said, "Oh good, I was going to give her a bottle, but I'll try to just keep her busy until you get here."  Maybe he just didn't want to give her any more bottles today, but that meant that I didn't have to pump at all today and THAT is something to celebrate!  I hate pumping, I love a husband who appreciates a good boob.

Success!

Thanks to lots of encouragement from my own mother, I finally got the nerve to nurse in public.  I never thought I'd be "that Mom," but here I am.  I believe her exact words were, "Rach, you've got to get used to just whipping it out!"  So, during a minor league baseball game, I found a corner where I could be very discreet about the whole thing and...I whipped it out - then promptly covered it up with a blanket and prayed that the little girl could do what she needed to do without a whole lot of help from me.  And she did!  It felt really good to know that I can now go where ever I want and my child won't starve to death. 

Mom invaded our little corner long enough to snap a photo - check out those adorable baby socks!

Our Adventures in Breastfeeding

It's day eight for little Sylvia and I have to say, she's really good at being a baby!  We got to stay two nights in the hospital, which was really nice considering I was still quite banged up after the whirlwind delivery and we had a lot of learning to do as far as breastfeeding was concerned.  I was very passionate about nursing this baby no matter what and I had lots of warnings and advice about how hard it would be and how to just stick it out until we both got the hang of it.  I was expecting a difficult and emotional time of it, but it hasn't been too bad, at least not yet. 

The sweet little girl latched on right away, which was a HUGE relief.  I know lots of moms who complained about their babies not latching or latching incorrectly and most of them went to the pump to get things started and never went back.  All I have to say is...good for them, because pumping is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen!  You have to be VERY dedicated to pump all the time if your baby doesn't latch, which I was prepared to do, but thank goodness I won't have to, at least not until I go back to work.  I did pump on days three and four, just to get the good milk flowing, but once it came in and she was able to eat, I didn't have to worry about the pump.  Sylvain says it makes me look like "RoboMom" and my mom says it reminds her of the dairy cows at her grandparents' farm! 

All weirdness aside, though, we did pull out the pump last night to see if the little nugget would take a bottle from her daddy.  She's done so well with latching and waking up to eat every three hours, that we decided it was time to see what else she can do.  I've heard other parents say they waited too long to introduce a bottle because they were afraid of "nipple confusion," but I wasn't too worried about it at this point.  I pumped for fifteen minutes and got four ounces of milk, which looks like a LOT when you think about how small she is.  I was certain she wouldn't drink it all.  Sylvain sat in the glider where I nurse her, laid her back in his arm, and tilted the bottle toward her.  She opened up and went to town on that bottle!  I couldn't believe how easy it was for her!  She sucked down those four ounces in about fifteen minutes and STILL WANTED MORE!  Thirty minutes later I nursed her again and she still ate.  She's definitely a Neltner baby - girl is not afraid to EAT!  (And tell me that picture of a daddy and his little girl isn't just the sweetest thing you've ever seen in your life!  I absolutely melted when she started to eat and he smiled.)

One huge advantage to breastfeeding that I was not anticipating - the emotional release.  I've been VERY weepy these last few days at home, especially the first couple nights.  I get panicky and anxious and scared and sad all at once.  I can feel it coming and I know it has to do with hormones and post partum depression and that it's completely normal, so I try to fight off tears and talk myself into feeling better.  But eventually I just can't stop crying and it takes Sylvain or my mom saying "What's wrong?" for me to let loose and wail about something that's bothering me.  Now, I did not realize this would happen: when I get weepy and sad, I just wait until the baby's next feeding, and when I sit down to nurse her, I can literally feel my body adjusting and going back to normal.  I can feel my muscles relax, and I can feel my brain centering itself, I can just feel all of the tension and anxiety leave my body as I rest my head on the glider and stare at that beautiful little girl just suckling away.  It's the most amazing feeling in the world.  Who knew?

I am so lucky to have the opportunity to practice this art of mothering for four whole months before I go back to work.  Knowing that my only job right now is to provide for our baby brings such a sense of calm and relief, even though it carries a lot of repsonsibility!  Our first trip to the pediatrician confirmed that we are actually doing things right - she gained 3 ounces in the two days she had been home!  Getting outside and getting around are also helping ward off the blues.  We took her to the grocery store after our doctor appointment, we took her on a walk to the library, and today I took her to Target ALL BY MYSELF!  The doctor said she can go anywhere we go, but we probably shouldn't take her to church or to our schools until she's at least six weeks old.  The doctor also said I can drink a glass of wine and it won't hurt her one bit, it actually helps with "let down" which is part of the breastfeeding process where they get the good milk after they've been feeding for a few minutes.  You can bet I was glad to hear that!

So all is well in the world of babies and boobs!  I won't tell you about how many t-shirts I've already ruined with leaky breastmilk or how many sleepers Sylvia has ruined with her gigantic breastmilk poos.  Seriously, the fluids flying around this house are unreal!  I never thought I'd be so excited about it, either.  We get really excited about poo.