For the Baby Mamas

During these last couple of snow days I've been cleaning and rearranging all kinds of things in the house.  One space that desperately needed attention was my nightstand, which was overflowing with all the books I've read in the last year.  As I was shoving some of them in a closet, I thought to myself that it would have been nice to know which ones were good and which ones were not before I bought them all.  Then I thought about all of my pregnant or new mama friends and decided that a blog post of my favorites might be a little bit helpful.  Or not.  It's always hard to pick the right books for yourself, much less anyone else, but here's my two-cents on a few of the better ones, take it or leave it!

 Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg

If you're considering natural childbirth, I highly recommend the Bradley Book.  We used most of the Bradley Method, although there were a few things we did not do, like practice our exercises naked or eat four thousand pounds of protein every day.  :)  You have to pick and choose what you like, but this book did a really good job of preparing us for what would probably happen on the big day!  In fact, during the last week of my pregnancy we got it out again and re-read a couple of chapters that were very helpful at identifying what kind of pregnancy and birth we were having.  (I was an "any day now" pregnancy: waiting for two weeks at 4 cm; getting really frustrated toward the end, then finally showing up to the hospital fully dilated.  Oops!)  I'm really glad we had this book.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin

Whether you're going natural or not, Ina May's guide is a must-read!  It gets really weird at times, but I loved reading all of the birth stories in the first section of the book.  I would read a story and then decide what I would do if _________.  Many times I thought, "No WAY and I doing THAT!" and many times I thought, "Oh, I'm totally going to remember to do that."  Plus, there's a really funny picture in here that will totally gross you out and make you laugh at the same time.  While the first part of the book is all stories, the second half is all business.  It's the science behind childbirth and it addresses all of the misconceptions and fears that are out there.  If anything, it will make you very confident in yourself, which is a huge benefit on baby day!

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, by The La Leche League

Here's one that a friend told me about.  She said her daughter-in-law was having a lot of problems breastfeeding and they bought this book to help, which it did.  So I thought I'd read it before the birth and I'm very glad that I did!  There are parts that I didn't totally agree with, so you have to pick and choose what's best for you and your family.  It was very helpful at explaining how to breastfeed, what to do in the beginning, and how the breastfeeding relationship and routine changes as your baby grows.  I kept it by my bedside and used it as a reference quite a few times while Sylvia was nursing.

Good Night, Sleep Tight, by Kim West

I love this book and I hate it.  The Sleep Lady has many great tips and advice about how to put a baby to bed, and in the first couple months we followed her "plan" pretty diligently.  But recently I realized that we're breaking quite a few of her rules these days.  The big one is that we broke down and let Sylvia "cry it out," and as guilty as I felt about it at the time, I'm so glad we chose that method because now she sleeps like a champ!  I also rock her to sleep every once in a while, which is a huge no-no according to this book, but I can't help myself.  There's nothing better than rocking a sweet baby to sleep!  The most helpful part of this book is the chapter that explains how much sleep you can expect your child to get at certain ages.  Once again, though, now that Sylvia doesn't nap at day care, I don't use The Sleep Lady as much as I used to.  Her solution for a non-napping day care baby?  Switch day cares.  Ummmm, no thank you.

So there you have it.  The four books I would pass on to any friend who wants them!  Notice I did NOT include the What to Expect When You're Expecting, because I really, really don't like it.  I have it, and I've used it as a reference, and I'd happily lend it to anyone who wants it, but I think these four books are much more helpful.  No matter what you read, though, heed this advice that was given to me by a great friend:

In the end, the best person to tell you what's best for you baby is YOU.  That baby doesn't know there are a hundred different ways to do things.  You're the only parents that little girl has!  She only knows what you do, and she loves you for it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more cleaning to do.

Excuse Me While My Belly and I Step Onto this Giant Soapbox

Here it is. Every expectant mother's guide. The bible of all baby books. The one that I saw my stepmother reading when I was ten years old and the one I couldn't wait to buy when it was time for me to prep for a little one. The giant, massive, black-and-white-sketch-filled, insert-laden reference tool that screams at you when you walk by it at the book store. What to Expect When You're Expecting....and I hate it.

Okay, I don't hate it. In fact, I use it ALL THE TIME. I bought it at the beginning of the summer and couldn't wait to read it cover to cover. I read the first couple chapters with such gusto! I left it by my bedside and couldn't wait to get back to it every night. Then...I got frustrated. I couldn't figure out why this book started to bother me. I thought maybe it was just too big, and maybe it just had too much information. Then, one evening while I was sitting on the couch browsing through the What to Expect website, it dawned on me. It's not the information...I LOVE information! It's something much more subtle:

I hate the way this woman writes!

For those of you that have read it and those of you that have it at home, maybe you've noticed. If you haven't, I guarantee, you will now. Open it up to a random page and read about three paragraphs. Did you find it? That part where she's trying to be really funny? Where she's trying to be your best friend? Where she uses all those quips and puns and idioms and side notes in parenthesis (aren't they great)? Here are a few examples:

"Varicose veins run in families - and they definitely sound like they have legs in yours."

"Are you passing gas like a college frat boy (make that more than a college frat boy)? Sorry, guys, but nobody does gas like a pregnant woman."

"It's the best of times; it's the worst of times. And it's how an estimated 60 to 80 percent of new moms feel after childbirth. So-called baby blues appear (approximately) out of the blue..."

Give me a break! Just cut to the nitty-gritty information, already! I don't need jokes and parenthesis to make me feel better, I need to know why I'm farting all the time and I need to know NOW!

I will say this: it has been able to answer EVERY question we've had about pregnancy and babies so far. Even though it's not a good cover-to-cover read, it really comes in handy when I'm trying to remember what kind of fish and seafood to stay away from, or when I should worry about cramps, or what to do when someone creepy touches my tummy - which hasn't happened yet, but it's one of my biggest fears. Even though she writes like a maniac, the woman has thought of everything...or I guess her publishers have thought of everything, but that's fine with me.

At first, I felt so guilty when I stopped reading it at night. I wondered if I was going to be a good mother because EVERY mother reads this book! Now, I don't feel so bad. Now, when Sylvain has a question, all I have to do is say "Get the book!" And he knows exactly where to find it...

In the bathroom. Where all good reference books belong.

I had some posting issues with this one...sorry to those of you who had three emails about the same post. I think it's fixed now.

I Could NOT Believe This! (with update...)

Over the winter break, I read an amazing book called Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. It was about Greg Mortenson, a climber, who attempted to climb K2 in Pakistan. His expedition failed to reach the summit, and on his way down he got lost. He wandered into a Pakistani village, where the people nursed him back to health and essentially saved his life. He was shocked to discover that the kids in the village only had a teacher three days a week and they practiced their lessons outside, writing in the dirt, so he vowed to raise enough money to build them a school. The whole book is about his fundraising and struggles to build the Korphe school while starting the Central Asia Institute, a foundation that has since funded many more schools all over Pakistan and Afghanistan. They are battling "terrorism" where it starts: by providing a balanced, un-extremist education to boys and girls in that area.

Since reading the book, I've discovered that there is a "Young Reader's Edition" which is basically the same story with more pictures and more information about things kids are interested in...like personal stories of other kids! I read the first few chapters of this edition and decided that it would have to be my next read aloud. After all, if there's anything my students need right now, it's some perspective. Most of them have it pretty bad, but to learn about kids on the other side of the world who have NOTHING, except the hope and desire to learn...well, it should give a few of my students something to think about at least.

On Friday (four days ago!) I decided to write an email to the Central Asia Institute and tell them about the kids in my class. I told them how much I loved the book and how eye-opening I expect it to be for my students. I explained that I plan to read it aloud to my kids, but I would really like for each of them to have a copy of it so they can read along with me. I humbly asked for a class set of Three Cups of Tea, the Young Reader's Edition - I made Chud proofread the letter twice and I almost deleted it, but decided to send it anyway. It couldn't hurt, right?

WELL! Today (Tuesday!) I dropped my class off at their Art class and went to check my mailbox in the teacher's lounge. There were two boxes from Amazon.com with my name on them. Hmm...I didn't order anything from Amazon. I thought there may have been a mixup, but when I opened the first box I found SIX HARDBACK COPIES OF THREE CUPS OF TEA!!!!! I gasped - it literally took my breath away. Oh my God! Is this for real?? I ripped open the other box to find seven more copies, for a grand total of THIRTEEN books for my class! There was no one else in the teacher's lounge, but I just kept saying in a high, shrieky voice, "Oh my God! Oh my God, I can't believe this!!" I started to CRY - I was so excited. I ran the boxes upstairs to my room, emailed Chud, and called my Mom! I had to celebrate with somebody!

To think that a company who receives hundreds of thousands of emails at any given moment, would even READ my email, much less respond to it, was a miracle to me. I wonder who actually read it, and who placed the order to Amazon, and if the guy at Amazon who packed it up knew that it would be going to such a deserving class for FREE? The packaging label said that 7 books cost $88.56! I can't spend that kind of money! Isn't that amazing? There truly are some wonderful people in this world. I cannot WAIT to start this book with my kids and have some meaningful, powerful discussions. If nothing else, at least they'll learn that writing can make things happen!


And by the way, if you've never read the book, you really have no excuse after reading my story. I think every person I can get to read it is like a little "thank you" from me to Dr. Greg!





Update: A second box arrived today (Wednesday) with twelve books in it! I re-read my original email to CAI last night and I asked for a "class set of 20 books," but I now have a grand total of TWENTY FIVE books for my kids. I'm still in shock. How does a teacher even begin to thank an organization for such a life-changing gesture?

A Teacher's Confession

Please don't tell anyone, but I have a confession to make. I'm not a very good reader. It's true. I faked my way through most books in high school and college. It's easy if you know where to go. I abandon about 80% of the adult books I try to read. Perhaps it's because I'm a slow reader - trying to fully absorb every word before moving on to the next sentence. Perhaps it's because I have a short attention span - long, dramatic storylines with intricate symbolisms and social undertones bore the heck out of me! Most of the "must reads" that I inherit from friends (i.e. The Time Traveller's Wife and The Secret Life of Bees) just pile up on my bedside. I'm lucky to read more than a chapter or two before tossing them aside and picking up something else.

I do love Children's books, though. Recently I've rediscovered the amazing talent of Natalie Babbit in Tuck Everlasting. I always marvel at the craftiness of Cynthia Rylant and Eve Bunting in their numerous picture books. I've also fallen in love with Jerry Spinelli's Milkweed, which I firmly believe every adult should read. In fact, my list of kid's books that should be read by adults is quite extensive. But when I stand in front of the best-seller table at Barnes and Noble, I feel desperately inadequate.

Having made my confession, I would also like you to know that every once in a blue moon I stumble upon an adult book that I can't put down. The first one was The Awakening which will always be my all-time favorite word feast. There have been others, on occasion. At the moment, I find myself sitting home on a Friday night, husband asleep on the couch, third glass of wine in hand, praying for the clock to slow down so I can keep reading my book without being completely exhausted tomorrow. It's an unlikely book for me to love. I've tried reading this author before and found him very uninteresting. However, tonight I am glued to the pages of Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. It's strange and it's slow - it took me a few weeks to really get into it. But I just started the "Third Book" and I have to tell you, I'm completely enthralled with his style of writing. I know I'm in the middle of a good book when I picture the author at their desk, spewing out words onto paper or screen, ideas swirling around their head. I find myself in awe of his talent. How does he know all of this history? How does he put the pieces of this story together out of thin air? What an amazing writer he must be. I would love to sit down and talk to him sometime!

Now that my reading confession is off my chest, I can finally sift through the reasons why I like this book and not others. I must be attracted to his particular writing style. As much as I struggle with the concept of "reading" and being "well-read" and "smart," the one thing I do love more than anything in this world is writing. That must be why I'm blogging right now instead of reading the next chapter.

I overhead a teacher say to one of MY students yesterday, as she grabbed a book from their hands and started reading the back cover, "Oh! Do you like this book? I love books. I'm a HUGE reader. I read everything. You'll have to tell me how it is. I'll probably read it soon anyway." I thought, are you kidding?? No one's buying that crap! I don't read much, but I do know that you can't read EVERYTHING. Don't patronize my kids. They're smarter than you.

I'd like to think that my kids are like me (a lofty and conceited thought, I know). But they're not going to read crap they don't like. I'll let them abandon book after book after book as long as they finally come to rest on one, good, solid, decent piece of writing that they LOVE. And then, after they read it, maybe they can picture themselves doing something like it and opening a notebook (or a blog) and writing something. Isn't that what good readers do?



p.s. make that a FOURTH glass of wine at hand - it's Friday. I'm a nerd.